tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41728141863972805252024-03-21T02:26:07.757-07:00pushings and other what-nota new home for things i have to say, and more importantly, things that i couldn't usually say.lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.comBlogger264125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-48280692628098712302015-05-15T11:04:00.006-07:002015-05-15T11:04:42.746-07:00pa(g)salubong<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">nangyari ito kahapon, habang nasa labas ako ng opisina.ang susunod na palitan ay binago upang magmukhang kapirasong katha. napangiti ako nito, at nagbigay ng aliw sa kaibuturan ko.<br /><br /><br />girlie: umamin ka, galing ka sa amin, ano?</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">boyet: actually, dumaan lang ako dito kasi alam kong sa mga oras na 'to ay makakasalubong kita. pero ang totoo, galing ako sa banko.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">girlie: ang totoo niyan, sa amin yung banko e.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">boyet: okey. nag-withdraw lang kasi ako ng pang-laboratory at pang-check up bukas. kaso, umaga ako magpapa-lab at sa hapon pa ang check-up ko, kaya di ko pa alam kung saan magpapalipas-oras.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">girlie: sige, good luck sa check-up bukas. happy weekend!</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 15.4559993743896px;">boyet: ikaw din. ingat palagi.</span>lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-82669339830447648922014-11-04T02:28:00.000-08:002014-11-04T03:12:30.562-08:00ang naturang pag-aayos ng kanta, 11.1.2014, undas<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">akala ko ay makakapagpahinga na ako kahapon mula sa (spanky) rigors ng trabaho, nang biglang nakatanggap ako ng text mula sa aking best friend. ang palitan ng mensahe ay nasa ibaba:</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">Alex: Punta ka ba sa patay o ok ka sa tugtugan ngayon?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">Mi</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; display: inline; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">ke: Walang tao dito sa bahay kundi ako. Manonood lang sana ako ng reproductive health documentary at wrestling.<br />Alex: Ano exact street address nyo jan?<br />Mike: Block 1 Lot 28 St. Joseph Street, Metroville Subdivision. Sa bahay ni Mang Louie Entoma kamo.<br />Alex: Sige ligo muna ako tapos direcho nako jan.<br />Mike: Oks. Andito na si Nanay, hinatid nina Kuya kanina. Mga nag-picnic kasi.<br />Mike: Pre, nagloloko itong wi-fi namin. Kanina pa ako di maka-konekta sa internet<br />Alex: So tuloy bako o di na?<br />MIke: Tuloy pare. Siyempre di lang kita mabibigyan ng 500 para ituloy mo lang.<br />Mike: Tol medyo malakas ang ulan. Ingat sa madulas.<br />Alex: Oks<br />Mike: Teka, electric ba tayo o unplugged lang?<br />Alex: Combined<br /><br />kaya binitbit ko at nilinisan lahat ng gitara at amplifiers ko dahil nagmistulang playground ng mga daga at tambayan ng alikabok. naligo na ako pagkatapos para makapag-set up, kaso dumating na pala itong isang 'to - may dalang sasakyan kaya pala ang lakas ng loob. sa kamalasan, nasira pala ang lahat ng mga cable ko kung kaya't kinailangan pa naming bumili sa mall (at isang set na rin ng kwerdas dahila wala na yatang nagbebenta ng tingi). yung huli kong isinaksak, sa sobrang grounded, e parang tunog-<a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=87199814272" href="https://www.facebook.com/TomMorello" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Tom Morello</a> na kahit wala ka pang ginagawa. anyway, bumili na rin kami ng post-tugtugan goodies bago umuwi - katulad ng fit n' right, napoleon brandy, el diablo beer, vodka mudshake, spicy pusit, spicy noodles, at orange candy. pag-uwi, nag-ayos lang ako ng gitara at nag-tono na kami. kumain muna kami ng hapunan bago simulang ayusin ang isang kanta - <a href="http://youtu.be/RvhJeQj7Xtg">narito</a> ang original pattern na matagal ko nang gustong matapos kaso hindi magawa dahil sa trabaho at iba pang priorities.<br /><br />matapos "ma-record" ang ilang takes ay tumigil na muna kami at itinuro niya sa akin ang isa pang kanta/sariling komposisyon na gusto rin niyang tugtugin - siyempre ako ang pinatugtog niya ng mas mahirap na mga parte para daw maka-kanta siya. inaral ko ang mga parteng iyon nang ilang minuto at nakuha ko din naman kaagad. ang nakakatawa nito, nung nag-a-adlib na siya, ako na yung nag-rhythm guitar kung kaya't napunta uli sa kanya yung mahirap na parte. lampas hatinggabi na rin kami natapos - nagligpit na lang kami at nag-back up lang ako ng files, tapos uminom na kami at nagkwentuhan tungkol sa world peace, pag-ibig, horoscope, kababaihan, trabaho, pamilya at iba pang mga bagay. lalo ding na-reinforce ang kaisipang "kahit gaano ka-brusko ang isang lalaki, hinding-hindi pa rin ito uubra sa kanyang asawang babae." samakatuwid, kung pakiramdam ni mister ay hari siya, si misis naman ang alas. FACT.<br /><br />higit sa lahat, masarap lumikha ng obra. nakakabuhay ito ng diwa.<br /><br />wala pang tapos na kanta, ngunit mayroong medyo disenteng take: </span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 12px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">ang medyo malanding edit ay narito:</span><br />
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<span style="color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">ito ay matapos ang mga takes na </span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSiMreaYmjQ" style="color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">ito</a><span style="color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">, at </span></span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHKf8Mb7Cos" style="color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">ito</a><span style="color: #37404e; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">.</span></span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /><span style="color: #37404e;"><span style="font-size: 11.8181819915771px; line-height: 13.9636354446411px;">p.s.: sa aming mga namayapang kamag-anak at mga mahal sa buhay, sana'y nagustuhan ninyo ang mga tinugtog namin. hindi namin kayo kalilimutan.</span></span></span><br />
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<br />lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-83675721276209221142014-10-22T08:52:00.001-07:002014-10-22T09:12:45.934-07:00always there when you need 'em<div class="aOC nH oy8Mbf" style="padding-top: 43px;">
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>i know my best friend (wilma)doesn't </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>[note: wilma doesn't is the brown nanette medved] </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>always show on the radar, but i know he keeps track of </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>my online sighs of frustrations. nag-chat kami at heto ang </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>mga ka-punyetahang napag-usapan namin. hindi ito pang-facebook dahil </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>baka may mag-react pa - dito na lang sa kahalu-halukay na mundo </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>ng blogger. kahit papaano pala ay nakakabawas din ito ng </b></span></div>
<div style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>stress. sana makagawa ulit kami ng obra. bahala na </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>muna si Lord... kaya pa 'yan. manatiling </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>positibo lamang at 'wag bibitaw. </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>rock and bwakanang-inang roll 'til we die </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>(or 'til we eventually age for the better).</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>comments in [brackets] in the conversation below are mine, </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>added as i was laying this out.</b></span><br />
<b style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;"><br /></b>
<b style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">to contextualize, here's the related shit: </b><br />
<a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2014/10/mga-munting-kamatayan.html" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2014/10/mga-munting-kamatayan.html</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2014/05/wag-mo-na-akong-ihatid-may-spotter-kasi.html" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: small;">http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2014/05/wag-mo-na-akong-ihatid-may-spotter-kasi.html</a></div>
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<span class="aOM">Wednesday, October 22, 2014</span> <span class="aZc">7:09 PM</span></div>
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Chat Silayan</div>
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</div>
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<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23h" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Online ka?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23g" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
oo, pero nandito ako sa opisina<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23f" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Nabasa mo comment ko sa blogpost mo?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23e" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ito, binabasa ko pa lang<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23d" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Okz<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z2" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
bigat ah.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":34r" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Di ko ma-capture yung mismong sayo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1vt" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kaw dapat gumawa<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1vu" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Ganda kasi ng idea eh<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1wm" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sige, try ko sa weekend. sobrang burned out e. nung sinusulat ko nga yan, parang feeling ko<br />
hindi ko masyadong ma-articulate.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yq" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kala ko nga tula yung ginawa mo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zj" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
gagawa din ako ng tula, kaso hindi naman negatibo gaya nung pamagat ng post ko.<br />
kaso di ko talaga maumpisahan.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":205" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Simula ka sa maliliit na bagay<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1d3" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Tapos sila pagsalitain mo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1d7" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Sarap basahin nyan sa isang drunken poetry reading<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1d6" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
oo nga e. yayayain sana kita mag-jam sa sabado kaso ngaragan pa rin ako dito.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1d2" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Nagtry ako magitara nung isang araw, halos wala nakong alam lol<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yg" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Iniwan kasi tayo ni ulaol eh, musta na kaya yon<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yp" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sa facebook ko lang siya nakikita<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zy" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
pare kailangan nating lumikha ng mga obra. kaso tuyot na ang utak ko.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1uv" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Yun nga eh. Gawin mong fuel frustrations mo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1uw" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ewan ko ba. minsan tuloy iniisip ko na sana kasing-galing mo ako sa babae.<br />
kaso siyempre, gusto ko na ganito pa rin ang hitsura ko.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1x0" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Tarantado.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z8" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Minsan nga inggit din ako sayo. Di ka tali, dami mo magagawa<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":14f" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kailangan mo rin sakripisyo kalajati ng sarili mo.<br />
Bihira kasi yung tao na tatanggapin bilang totoong ikaw.<br />
Idea nila ng ikaw tatanggapin<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":2q" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
LOL<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z0" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
lahat naman kasi ng nagugustuhan ko, ayaw naman sa akin.<br />
yun namang mga may gusto sa akin na pwedeng lahian, may mga sabit na. malas talaga e.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yb" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Buwagin ang sabit<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yr" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Claim & control<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":34u" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
tangina, diskarteng manyakol ka talaga. Patrolman Yakis<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1za" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Lol<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1u2" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Patrolman Lalahi anputa<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1uq" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
May bago ngako kaopisina hilig din sa old school movies<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":14e" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Panay nood ng pbo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ud" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
di ko talaga alam kung paano. laging nagiging awkward kapag revelation na.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":27b" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ay, speaking of pelikula, may nabili akong DVD ni Khavn Dela Cruz<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1x4" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Ano yan<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1vv" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ang pamagat niya Vampire of Quezon City<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1vw" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
tangina, hardcore<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1y1" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Pag awkward hotel na moments, daanin mo sa patawa<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":230" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
feeling ko dapat gumawa tayo ng ganung mga project nung college tayo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":22z" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kung may areps lang talaga dati, dami natin nagawa<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1y4" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
tangina, lagi ko ngang dinadaan sa patawa kaso parang di naman interesado sa akin.<br />
ka-facebook ko pa nga yung Nanay niya.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1y5" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Malamang judge na tayo sa cannes nyan<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1y6" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Lol. Ka-facebook ang nanay ampota<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zp" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
pare may eksena dun nag-jakol tapos ipinutok sa garapon tapos ipinahid sa mukha<br />
nung babaeng nakagapos. tapos sinuotan ng wedding gown saka kinantot sa rocking chair<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zx" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Hahahaha<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":206" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Parang eksenang nahuli kami ni jp sa pad ni menan kasama si francis bakula<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zh" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
O ekesenang alas kuwatro ng umaga, mahal na araw tapos sa halagang 150 nangyayaya sa<br />
Babang-ali<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zi" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
panay pa ang improvise ng kantang ang tanging lyrics ay "kakantot kami!"<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1g7" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Lol<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z1" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Hardcore nga<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cy" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kopya mo Nga ko nyan<br />
<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yx" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ang mahal nga e. kaso sa dami ng na-download kong porno, sulit na rin 'to.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1zb" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Pinaka-hardcore ko na ngayon eh phineas & ferb dahil kay ivan doofenschmirtz<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":22y" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Naadik din ako goonies tsaka sa good enough song ni cyndi lauper<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":22x" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Yung intro kasi parang ninja kidd<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":22w" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
*ninja kids<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1tk" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ako natutulog na lang pag weekends. gusto kong magawa natin yung FACG song,<br />
kaso kelan naman<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":14g" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Nakalimutan ko na nga yun. Ayusan mo kaya ng panibagong riff?<br />
Record record muna<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1x7" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
hinde, yun na yun. sa pagtipa-tipa lang ang variations. basta, maganda ang kutob ko dun ever since.<br />
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvhJeQj7Xtg&list=UUCOizPyUqB4sG5H6joj8pwA" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?<wbr></wbr>v=RvhJeQj7Xtg&list=<wbr></wbr>UUCOizPyUqB4sG5H6joj8pwA</a><span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ko" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Check ko to<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":3k4" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Ahh oo. Nakakaisip ako ng deftones like melody.<br />
Kung madadagdagan ng heavy riff yan patok<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1da" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
yung tunog ng aso at manok ay intentional<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1g5" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
FACG nga lang ba yan? Tangina ala kasi akong heavier guitar effect<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1d1" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
delay lang yan sa verse tapos kahit distortion lang yung chorus<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1g6" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Puwede send mo ko ng mp3 version para mapatungan ko vocals<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1g4" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kailngan din matinding bass nyan<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1yw" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
yung naisip kong tipa sa verse, di ko pa ma-record.<br />
dapat pag-jam na lang natin kay Ate Jam<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":231" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
send ko mp3 sa iyo. email na lang?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1y8" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Oo email is z best<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cs" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
paano ba mag-save nitong chat conversation sa Gmail?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ct" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Naka-autosave ata yan<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cn" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Gamit ko google talk na app kaya puwede i-archive<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1co" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kung papayagan ako this saturday, i-jam natin<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z3" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kung kaya mo, palagay na rin ng chords kung may iba pa ka pang gamit<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z5" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
may i-a-attach akong notepad file. dinrowing ko yung chord fingerings<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z7" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sine-send ko na<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1u1" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sent na pre<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1z6" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Okz<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":208" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
'tol, parang nag-show din yung conversation natin dito sa hangouts na app<br />
sa telepono kahit via PC ako sumasagot. DL na lang din ako ng Google talk<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":34w" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
pare, kakain lang ako. sobrang tomguts na me.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23c" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Sige<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23b" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
message mo lang ako dito<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":23a" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
no sexting pls.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":239" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Try mo resend yung mp3 gamitin mo email mo pagsend. Galing sa noreply@ <a href="http://gmail.com/" target="_blank">gmail.com</a><span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":238" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
ano na nga email add mo na sesendan ko?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="reply-115902993890662362636@profiles.google.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":237" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
<a href="mailto:Barrios.agena@gmail.com" target="_blank">Barrios.agena@gmail.com</a><span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":236" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sige, update ko lang address book ko<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cw" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
smallcaps lahat yan ah?<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cp" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Oo<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cq" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
pare, paki-check. ty<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cm" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Okz<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cl" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
chichibog lang ako.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ck" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Kuha ko na, nailagay ko sa 4 track recording app<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cj" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Yun bro, kailangan pa extend yung pinaka main riff kasi magand na intro yan<br />
tapos after 4 beats dadagdagan ng distortion, then after another 4,<br />
base [*bass, gago.] naman. Tsaka lang papasok yung vocals.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ci" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Yung sa refrain part kailangan angat din at matagal pa ng onti.<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ch" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Then dadagdagan ng onting interlude & mix ng silence preferably bass & drums lang<br />
at onting lead bago ipasok ulit main riff<br />
Pakinggan mo yung passenger ng deftones</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cg" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cf" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
para kang si Ajel [kaibigan naming IT specialist at musikero/dating aerobics instructor]<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ce" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Sinend ko yung passenger mp3<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cd" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Eh pag hinimay mo nga songs ng mga pinapakinggan natin eh ganun talaga<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cc" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Pinaka astig eh massive attack, daing layers<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1cb" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Sent na yung mp3<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1ca" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
sige, download ko muna para i-loop<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" data-oid="115902993890662362636" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Alexander Agena, Jr.</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="barrios.agena@gmail.com" oid="115902993890662362636" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABECIzcjLH5lbLZ3AEiC3ZjYXJkX3Bob3RvKigyNWUxODFlNGIwNDAzNmY3YzhkOThkMjY1NmQ3ZGU4NWU3OTA5ZDg4MAGGvmAWFN9NbgvcyNOspMkdtz3UnA?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Alexander Agena, Jr.">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1c9" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Pakinggan mo parts na medyo biglang nagmellow<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1c8" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
Logtu muna ako. Aga pasok ka araw araw<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
<div class="aZe" data-email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" data-oid="101543753215391148853" data-type="s" style="padding-bottom: 13px; padding-top: 21px; position: relative;">
<div class="aO1" style="color: #222222; font-weight: bold; line-height: 12.8000001907349px; position: absolute; top: 21px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;">
Mike Entoma</div>
<div class="aO2" style="left: -42px; margin-left: 5px; position: absolute; top: 21px; width: 32px;">
<div class="aQq" email="mikeentoma@gmail.com" oid="101543753215391148853" style="background-color: #cccccc; background-image: url(https://plus.google.com/u/0/_/focus/photos/public/AIbEiAIAAABDCLXWhsLs66C2FSILdmNhcmRfcGhvdG8qKGFlOGJkMGJkOGEyZjAyMGYyODEzOWIxNWEzMmFhYzdiMTU5MGRhZDIwASzd6qY-HbUbl3E5X5LbhIevgYu3?sz=32); background-repeat: no-repeat; height: 32px; width: 32px;" title="Mike Entoma">
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOT" data-type="m" id=":1c7" style="padding: 1px 0px; position: relative;">
oks<span class="aSy" style="-webkit-user-select: none; color: #999999; font-size: 11px; padding-left: 1em; visibility: hidden;"></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOH" id=":1vs" style="border-top-color: rgb(229, 229, 229); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; width: 883px;">
<div class="T-I J-J5-Ji aOA T-I-atl L3" id=":1z9" role="button" style="-webkit-box-shadow: none; -webkit-user-select: none; background-color: #4d90fe; background-image: -webkit-linear-gradient(top, rgb(77, 144, 254), rgb(71, 135, 237)); border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: 1px solid rgb(48, 121, 237); box-shadow: none; color: white; cursor: default; display: inline-block; font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; height: 27px; line-height: 27px; margin: 10px 0px 10px 7px; min-width: 54px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px 8px; position: relative; text-align: center; white-space: nowrap;" tabindex="0">
<div style="text-align: left;">
Open Hangout</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="nH">
<div class="l2 ov" style="margin-top: -5px; padding-bottom: 180px; padding-top: 20px; text-align: left; text-shadow: none;">
<div id=":1ur" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">
</div>
<div class="aeV" id=":1d0" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; float: left; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: medium; text-align: left; width: 294.03125px;">
<div class="md mj" style="font-size: 11px; font-weight: bold; padding-top: 0px; text-shadow: none;">
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
<div class="aOL" style="color: #666666; font-size: 13px; margin-left: 37px; margin-right: 16px; position: relative; z-index: 1;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-11843029466177081462014-10-20T09:42:00.001-07:002014-10-20T09:43:38.784-07:00mga munting kamatayan<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Kung gusto kang isama, yayayain ka sa una pa lang."</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
ito ang pinaniniwalaan ko batay sa aking mga naranasan sa buhay. kapag mistulang saling-pusa na lang o afterthought ako na isama sa isang lakad, i.e., hindi ako top-of-mind na naisip, kadalasan ay hindi na lang ako sumasama... masagwa o nakaka-ilang din kasi ang pakiramdam. besides, i accept the fact that most of the time, this is not about me. sa madaling-salita, hindi naman planadong kasama ako, kung kaya't parang pampalubag-loob na lang na yayain ako sa mga naturang lakad.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
wala namang masama doon, kung kaya't sa tingin ko ay hindi ko naman dapat damdamin o dibdibin.</div>
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ang masakit ay yung mga "little acts of rejection" at ang mga frustrations na kaakibat ng mga ito - mga munting kamatayan kong maituturing, dahil sa mga mumunting paraan ka na nga lang nagpapahiwatig, e mistulang binabale-wala lang. siguro ay nagiging masyado lang akong maramdamin o sensitibo, pero ewan ko ba kung bakit ko ito nararamdaman.</div>
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siguro masyado lang akong nag-iisip. nag-iisip kung paano ipapahiwatig ang aking pagtingin/pag-ibig sa kanya. sabi nga nila ay may tamang panahon para sa lahat... pakiramdam ko ay nandito na naman ako sa dilemma ng pagtatapat sa babaeng kaibigan - na maaaring magbunga ng paglabo ng pagkakaibigan o kaya ng pag-usbong ng pag-iibigan. sa ilang sulyap na malapitan, nararamdaman ko minsan ang masidhing kalungkutan - at naiisip ang posibilidad na ako ay balewalain lamang.</div>
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ngunit sabi nga nila na ang lahat ng mga bagay ay may kanya-kanyang tamang panahon. siguro balang araw ay lalaya din ako sa tanikala ng pag-ibig na ito. iniisip ko na lang na: manalo o matalo, hindi bale na - basta't sa tamang oras ay mailalabas ko ang damdamin kong totoo.</div>
lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-23546218661284793502014-05-12T06:06:00.003-07:002014-05-12T06:09:14.934-07:00"Wag mo na akong ihatid, may spotter kasi ako."hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig talagang sabihin ng mga katagang ito.<br />
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pero it reinforces my impression that maybe "women are ashamed to be seen with me."<br />
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ewan ko. it's a bit of a downer, but maybe i'll get over it in a few days -<br />
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but don't quote me on that, kasi i tend to (over) analyze such matters and blame myself for such debacles.<br />
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#finishinglastagainlambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-43307506490434562382013-03-23T09:28:00.000-07:002013-03-23T09:43:22.882-07:00you really had me at "may kanin pa ba?"<span style="color: #0c343d;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><span style="color: #0c343d;">5 years ago, a YM conversation happened. some parts of these excerpts have been edited.</span></b><br /><br /><b><span style="color: #990000;">you (10:56:09 AM): kita ko mga pics nyo<br />you (10:56:09 AM): inggit ako :(<br />me (10:56:58 AM): sayang nga wala ka e. naalala pa tuloy namin yung last year, nung naghanap ka ng k***n :)<br />me (10:57:19 AM): ano ang istorya ng status message? malungkot na naman?<br />you (10:57:19 AM): hehehe<br />you (11:00:06 AM): haaay naku<br />you (11:00:17 AM): and2 ako sa ofc kahapon til 12MN<br />you (11:00:25 AM): cno ba naman ang matutuwa nun<br />me (11:01:13 AM): ay, ang sad naman. teka, magpapalit ako ng status message, yung nakakatawa para matawa ka.<br />you (11:01:26 AM): hehehe<br />you (11:01:54 AM): kelan daw ulit C***n nila?<br />you (11:02:00 AM): sasama ako dun<br />me (11:02:18 AM): May daw eh. pag-iipunan ko yun<br />me (11:02:28 AM): di pa ako nakakapunta dun e<br />you (11:03:01 AM): naku May ang B**a ko<br />you (11:03:07 AM): sana last week of May<br />...<br />you (11:06:01 AM): hahaha... natawa nga ako sa status mo...<br />you (11:06:12 AM): para sakin ba yan? :D<br />me (11:06:53 AM): well, ikaw ang nagfi-fit sa description... :D<br />...<br />you (11:07:00 AM): hahaha<br />you (11:07:13 AM): tagal ko na nababasa na status mo yan... bat dko naisip yun :))</span></b><br /><b><span style="color: #0c343d;"><br />i know we're not close nowadays, but we're okay.<br /><br />i made you laugh, but it's always my pleasure.<br /><br />you inspired me to write a few poems for you - they may be "baduy," but i'll always cherish them.<br /><br />maybe you didn't know, but you made me smile that day. thank you. :)</span></b></span>lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-60467923684457894572012-11-10T23:56:00.000-08:002012-11-10T23:57:05.418-08:00Ang Kuwago (The Owl)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">here is a tattoo i had made yesterday - courtesy of Jeffrey Guaves of Cadence Tattoo Studio. the original picture was taken by </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=538817764" href="https://www.facebook.com/abetmaniniyut" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px; text-decoration: initial;">Abet Lagula</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;"> and this project was 2 years in the making. i remember asking for Abet's permission/blessing sometime in 2011 at a gathering (yun yatang despedida nina Lanie, i'm not sure - hindi na ako best in memory) and he gave me his approval. many thanks also to my cousin Noel Enrique </span><a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/user.php?id=1029906234" href="https://www.facebook.com/noelenrique.candelario" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px; text-decoration: initial;">Candelario</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;"> for the pictures in this post.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.983333587646484px;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">why an owl? the owl is a symbol of death and wisdom. </span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">death is compulsory, but wisdom is optional.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px;">here's the link of the original image taken by Abet: </span><br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=408310022764&set=a.408308327764.184050.538817764&type=3&src=https%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-ak-ash3%2F34971_408310022764_4451544_n.jpg&size=480%2C720" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.999998092651367px; text-decoration: initial;" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>photo.php?fbid=408310022764<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>&set=a.408308327764.184050<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>.538817764&type=3&src=http<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>s%3A%2F%2Ffbcdn-sphotos-d-<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>a.akamaihd.net%2Fhphotos-a<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>k-ash3%2F34971_40831002276<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>4_4451544_n.jpg&size=480%2<wbr></wbr><span class="word_break" style="display: inline-block;"></span>C720</a><br />
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<br />lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-60825149273959156462012-08-22T06:06:00.000-07:002012-08-22T06:06:22.375-07:00paalam sa piping saksi (farewell to the silent witness)<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>granted that almost all of us online people have facebook pages, not all of us have our own webpages that we could freely post a multitude of content - blog entries, pictures, videos, music, links, notes, calendar/events, and even recipes.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>for the majority of five years, multiply.com had been my "webpage". i started that blog in april 2007, primarily to be able to see photographs taken by new-found friends during a holy week trip to Ilocos back then. writing any form of online journal had not occured to me before that, except perhaps a couple of posts on my old friendster account. with multiply, i was able to write more, share pictures, videos, (un-studio) music, recipes, as well as tell a story about myself in general. from interests to passions to peeves to artistic pursuits, i was able to share them. more importantly, i have made good friends there, starting from that fateful Ilocos trip. i will probably be re-posting all my entries here, as i'm quite primitive when it comes to cross-posting/importing. it's just sad that i will not be able to include comments and threads (most of which can be humorous, profound or both). my entries ranged from the mundane to the euphoric to the sappy. i'm thankful to have been able to share them and release steam in the process. and i'm even more thankful for those who went out of their way to read and comment on what i had to say.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>i hate to say goodbye, but i have to, sooner or later. thank you for being the silent witness to my stories, to what i have to say, to what i couldn't normally say. </b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b>we had a good run, multiply. and i appreciate that - more than what these words could actually say.</b></span><br />
</div>
lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-33742649471676855492012-05-04T03:06:00.006-07:002013-07-03T08:28:03.371-07:00Why Sit There James 2012<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/wBVKD19jEG8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
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this piece is based on a poem by my best friend entitled "Why Sit There James," with the instrumental accompaniment first proposed in 2010.</div>
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here's the other links:</div>
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YouTube: <a href="http://youtu.be/U3ZFUsHS164">http://youtu.be/U3ZFUsHS164</a></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Facebook: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150768882022850">https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150768882022850</a></div>
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<br /></div>
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here's the full text of the poem:</div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
Why Sit There James<br />
<br />
Alexander Agena, Jr.<br />
<br />
why sit there James forever dead in that black and white pic <br />
forever flicking that half-finished smoke your eyes<br />
<br />
dead set on the ember white burn brooding back in our eyes alighting <br />
your image and you are supposed to be a nasty casualty<br />
<br />
of a car crash why James always that bored look is the world too<br />
slow like the gramophone that plays the fall in Four Seasons<br />
<br />
sighs of the string section swirling below that auburn hair mingling<br />
with the flair of your troubled roles the world troubled in bending<br />
<br />
too much you can't see straight that you had it piped once with a pastor full<br />
of sibilance in his speech probably promised you rain and salvation<br />
<br />
and all you got was an awakening to a wedging in of Sodom sweet in its sin<br />
yes they talked about it in Larry King Live your sweetheart confirmed<br />
<br />
things you had done trashing your room for trusting in strangers for doping<br />
shooting uppers faking talk shows saying driving too fast isn't safe<br />
<br />
caring isn't safe you ran like hell the world couldn't follow couldn't swallow<br />
stars like you falling fast and hard your soul cost millions they printed<br />
<br />
your pretty face in posters pictures pin-ups up there in heaven Hollywood <br />
where saints and sinners trade places faster than sideswipes happen<br />
<br />
in long roads and runways engines revving up and the down the slope of your life<br />
couldn't slant enough to not keep fans from fielding East of Eden full<br />
<br />
even then why sit there James why let scumbags take your photograph and remind<br />
us of your pain if you had stared straight we sure couldn't look back<br />
<br />
but you couldn't just sit couldn't let Bach cement you to that sofa had to run<br />
had to race time to halt your age to be as fast as you can be rushing<br />
<br />
to the point where seconds become infinitesimal the pedals clutch and rubber<br />
enfolding and the gap in everything becomes nothing but an exploding starlambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-11677672157729671282012-05-02T03:57:00.006-07:002013-07-03T08:34:01.820-07:00The Madsong of Hesus: 2012<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/STBeTHJgK_s" width="560"></iframe>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">
this was a piece that we first performed in 2003, when my best friend and i tagged along with my officemate and his friend for a couple of friday night beers in a newly-opened bar in Quezon City. the in-house band was playing acoustic music - a fad during that time - when my friend showed me a poem that he wrote. i was immediately awed by the imagery and thought of an instrumentation that would be a backdrop if ever he decided to read it onstage somewhere.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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we mustered enough guts to ask permission from the band to borrow their acoustic guitar and did an impromptu performance while they were on break. the manager liked it and asked us to audition a few weeks later. we went to audition with another group who had obviously more chops than we did, but somehow we landed a "one night only" gig slot where we played a couple of cover songs because we didn't really have any compositions back then, and we saved this piece for last. as souvenirs of that performance as well as the audition and that fateful friday night, i'd like to thank Mr. Leo Laroza for the pictures that he took. i posted these in my facebook:</div>
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150164126797850.312446.594432849&">https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150164126797850.312446.594432849&</a>...</div>
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<br /></div>
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alas, we didn't have any recorder back then when we performed this piece. fast forward to 2012 - my best friend came back from Singapore, and we decided to nail this down last Sunday. thanks to my old reliable 5-string RJ Stratocaster and his trusty Fender G-Dec amplifier, we were finally able to record a performance of this.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
this is the madsong of hesus. </div>
<br />
words by Alexander Agena, Jr.<br />
guitar work by Mic Entoma<br />
2003 photos by Leo Laroza<br />
<br />
here's the full text of the poem:<br />
<br />
THE MADSONG<br />
OF HESUS<br />
<br />
Alexander Agena, Jr.<br />
<br />
In the summer of 1999, in Aranque, Manila, a grease-man who goes by the name of Hesus, ran amok, killing a pregnant lady, and wounding several others. Mob of butchers finally caught and killed him with cleavers and ice picks. The total stab wounds were 13, nine of them filled his left chest, forming bloody sinkholes. Inside the coroner’s room hours after his death, a novena booklet with the image of Christ was found, crumpled in his hand.<br />
<br />
<br />
1.<br />
<br />
Rubbish. Flies. Styrofoam. Lies.<br />
Grime leading nowhere fills the esteros.<br />
Not yet with foul meat or bone scraps<br />
Will my stomach be filled. Not yet–my hair<br />
Greased black, an extension of the Pasig river–<br />
With leftover rice from the eatery. (The pregnant owner<br />
Scowled at me in her oily apron. I detested <br />
The way she smirked, the way the knife and the cleaver <br />
Were chafed against each other. This bothers you, she asked.<br />
A bolo was there among the soiled dishes.)<br />
Now I see the grime<br />
Filling the esteros, heading somewhere.<br />
Shimmering ground<br />
Mucks my eyes from the heat; and once more<br />
The doorknob of the mind opens ajar on<br />
A period rhymed with cataclysm.<br />
Perennial and has passed unobserved. Cold winds<br />
Left, and then a summer. I lay among the rubbish<br />
Beside the wet market. Under the scorching sun,<br />
Where my lips, like the season, blistered,<br />
I scraped my Father’s name down to a deeper trash,<br />
My hair greased black, an extension of the Pasig river.<br />
<br />
<br />
2.<br />
<br />
It was like any other street market. Stalls<br />
Hang their meat and other innards. Papayas<br />
Still attract flies. Fish fresh from death<br />
Or seemed to be dead get caught the second time<br />
In plastic nets. Getting awake from the sudden<br />
blaring of horns, <br />
I seemed to see scenes from Galilee, where jeepneys become<br />
Fishing vessels trudging the sea of cements, <br />
and uncoordinated<br />
Music coupled with street-like oration blast<br />
the ears of passengers.<br />
And sometimes I ride it to give them a sermon,<br />
But they always ignore me, the helm-master shouting<br />
Profanities at my grace…Rubbish. Cans.<br />
Flies. Styrofoam. Lies. And, and,<br />
Clean faces, smiling, government faces,<br />
On big boards in the sky, smirking.<br />
The esteros fill with grime, leading nowhere.<br />
I laugh at how strangers become familiar,<br />
Going in and out of the market, plastic<br />
In their hands, plastic in the garbage cans.<br />
I wake to see them at dawn, trading plastic,<br />
As if they go here to worship plastic, just before,<br />
My stomach rumbles, then another vision.<br />
<br />
<br />
3.<br />
<br />
One of them bobbed in the Pasig river one night.<br />
Got dumped from the bridge, tied in plastic rope,<br />
His head covered with plastic sando bag, the radio said–<br />
A messenger, (not one of my angels), a starwitness<br />
Of some government scam, married,<br />
and shining sleek gray-anew<br />
Like an inflated balloon.<br />
I used to get off from jeepneys there,<br />
To look at the river, to see the sea of Galilee. Now the esteros<br />
Fill with grime, leading anywhere. They found<br />
His wife in a bank, claiming blood-money; maybe<br />
She sold him for a fee, she’s only a housewife–<br />
I lay among the rubbish.<br />
Beside the wet market. The jeepneys stop blaring.<br />
She struggled to get out of her store,<br />
Approaching me, in her oily apron. All buoy upstream now.<br />
–And then it dries, cakes, and the horizon forgot to quiver.<br />
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4.<br />
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I could not intend to smite her,<br />
The pregnant owner of the eatery. But the ground,<br />
Shimmering and passed unobserved,<br />
mucks my eyes from the heat<br />
And shudders like Mount Sinai. I cry to them my sermon:<br />
Not all papayas attract flies! Sermons attract flies!<br />
Why don’t you all give up your stores and stalls because<br />
You can’t stop stomachs from wailing? Those plastic images<br />
Where you put your blood-money and dried jasmines,<br />
like my hair, at its feet–<br />
Put me there, too, among the plastics;<br />
Let me live. Not foul meat, not bone scraps,<br />
Not leftover rice from the eatery. I did not<br />
intend to smite her, <br />
The pregnant owner of the eatery.<br />
I spread the grime at my hair<br />
As the papayas got crushed. Rubbish.<br />
Flies. Lies.–I slashed at her inflated belly like a balloon,<br />
With the bolo from the soiled dishes. She kept on smirking<br />
As her innards and what seemed to be<br />
a live fish splattered out.<br />
So many soiled dishes, all those plates and forks,<br />
And how those familiar strangers <br />
go in and out of the market,<br />
And we can’t even go out, come out,<br />
with plastic in our hands,<br />
Ignoring the profanities against my grace,<br />
hurling street-like oration<br />
In an uncoordinated music, howling, howling, in jeepneys<br />
Trudging like fishing vessels in the cement sea,<br />
While grime fills up Manila, the capital of the world.<br />
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i had to shorten the description in my YouTube channel as this write-up would have been too long. <br />
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here's the YouTube link: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPLdhlR2kd0">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPLdhlR2kd0</a>lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-21893651455232182242012-03-21T07:33:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:49:54.564-07:00you had me at "may kanin pa ba?" =O)><div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-59564985624044772362012-03-05T02:45:00.006-08:002012-10-14T02:50:47.218-07:00back from the north again. Lord, maraming salamat sa pagbabantay mo sa aming lahat - may mangilan-ngilang sandaling halos mahulog na kami sa bangin pero hindi mo kami pinabayaan. sana safe ang dalawang teams sa Apayao, pati ang lahat ng iba pang mga teams sa ibang areas.count your blessings, work hard, think positive, and most of all, appreciate people whom you work with. nothing negative is going to bring me down.<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-26017052219512906752012-01-07T03:30:00.006-08:002012-10-14T02:51:49.350-07:002nd ink: The Amazon<center>
<a href="http://lambanogpusher.multiply.com/photos/album/47/2nd-ink-The-Amazon"><img border="0" src="http://multiply.com/mu/lambanogpusher/image/5/photos/47/600x600/17/DSC04442.JPG?et=moUD%2B6uxuHkQIlyjgmuJ8Q&nmid=511179386" width="100%" /></a></center>
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this is my 2nd tattoo, done by artist RaKi Borromeo Ilumin. Fineline Tattoo is owned by Sir Butch Bautista @ SM Masinag (topmost floor) and they also have a branch at SM Taytay. the design is "The Amazon" or the heel character (or anti-hero if you see it that way) of the Pro Wrestling FamiCom game.<br />
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dapat nung birthday ko pa ito ipapalagay, kaso busy talaga nung mga araw na iyon kaya kaninang hapon lang ako nakapag-appointment. of course, it's no secret that i'm a pro wrestling geek hence the design - but more importantly, this symbolizes some of the adversities i encounter in work, in life (or yung mga kontrabida din, if you will). this is the dichotomy: Starman is the "babyface" or "face" character (good guy) who uses clean tactics, i.e., within the rules kung dumiskarte, while The Amazon is the "heel" (bad guy) or simply put, the rule-breaker, i.e, he puts the opponent in a headlock and stabs him in the forehead multiple times with a fork until he bleeds and/or bites him in the forehead a la Abdullah the Butcher (na siyempre hindi nakikita ng referee). parang sa buhay natin, kung tayo ang bida, siyempre kailangang may kontrabida - kasi ang kontrabida ang susubok kung hanggang saan ang kaya ng bida, kung hanggang saan ang lakas/kakayahan niya - para magkaroon ng ng conflict, ng resolution, ng balanse, ng synthesis. siyempre, natuwa din ako sa concept ng face/heel at saka ng dynamics ng "double turn" - and if you read carefully, i just gave you a clue kung ano ang susunod na design na ipapalagay ko.lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-17734885701194278962012-01-01T07:12:00.006-08:002012-10-14T02:52:19.364-07:00dear God, i know that i can be a jackass at times, pero salamat at hindi Mo ako pinabayaan pati ang mga mahal ko sa buhay noong 2011. alam kong pasaway ako paminsan-minsan, but still You were patient with me. i'll try to be better this year, although i'm not making guarantees - i'm going to take it one day at a time like i always do. please give me the strength and the sanity to face life this 2012 - i know that You have wonderful plans, and i look forward to the trials and surprises na ibabato Mo sa akin. sasabihin ko po sana na ifo-follow up ko yung lovelife ko kaso alam ko namang alam Ninyong iniisip ko yun. ganunpaman, i will patiently wait for her - baka po na-traffic lang kasi. good night po, and see You tomorrow.-mic<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-86874213668737742652011-12-08T03:57:00.007-08:002012-10-14T02:53:15.249-07:00kalabit, kapa, kaskasparang ang hirap mag-blog ngayon - pakiramdam ko pudpod ang diwa ko dahil sa trabaho. dinadaan ko na lang muna sa gitara, kahit na halos wala namang nabubuo (hence the post's title). pinost ko din ito sa YouTube channel ko (http://www.youtube.com/user/lambanogpusher). ito ang ilan sa mga "sketches" ko sa ngayon - may ibang lumang ideas pero mayroon ding bago. whether may patutunguhan sila, di ko pa alam, pero sana, oo.<br />
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this is a chord pattern i was tinkering around with on acoustic guitar, where the D string was missing. at first, i was just curious as to how it will sound, but ended up playing this for several takes.</div>
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<object height="315" width="560"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="never"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZjCMIyB_DDM?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><embed allowscriptaccess="never" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZjCMIyB_DDM?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="560" height="315" allowfullscreen="true"></object></div>
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this is an instrumental accompaniment to my friend alexander agena, jr.'s poem "the madsong of hesus" - a project that started way back in 2003 but up to now still hasn't been "recorded."</div>
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this is the third draft of purple kush, and it still has no definite structure. the D string is missing so it means i'm playing a 5-stringer.</div>
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this is just a doodle - the title says it all, really. and yes, the D string is still missing.</div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-71589631921686488792011-11-04T08:47:00.007-07:002012-10-14T02:54:57.378-07:00my one great love (as of 2007)<a class="select" href="http://lambanogpusher.multiply.com/journal/item/64/my_one_great_love_as_of_2007">Link</a> <br />
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-66807193683507744822011-09-16T09:46:00.007-07:002012-10-14T02:55:42.320-07:00wala akong ideya sa pamagat ng isang 'to<div style="text-align: justify;">
11:20 pm na at isinusulat ko ito. matagal na akong hindi nakakapagsulat ng mga kung-anuman sa buhay ko at ngayo'y susubukan kong magbahagi. matagal na akong wala sa sirkulasyon ng mga kaibigan ko - masaklap mang isipin, pero sa online world lang ako nakakasagap ng mga balita tungkol sa sangkatauhan, i.e., tungkol sa inyo. siguro, puro busy lang tayo sa mga buhay-buhay natin kaya ganun. minsan, nakikita ko sa mga albums na may mga nagkikita-kita sa inyo at nakaka-labas-labas kayo minsan. minsan naman, may nababasa akong mga threads at tumitingin na lang ako o nagla-like paminsan-minsan, pero kadalasan ay di na nagko-comment.</div>
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kanina, kinausap ako ng isa sa mga boss ko. basically, it was a pep talk / pagbibigay ng project assignment dahil hindi daw ako nakakapag-multi-task lately - parang may pagka-sermon in disguise pero in fairness, may papuri din namang sinabi. it's more of an effort to re-energize my career, i thought to myself. naisip ko na lang na makinig mabuti at i-accept ang magandang intentions ng tagpong iyon. on the one hand, kailangan kong hapitin at tapusin ang mahigit isang buwan ko nang binubunong project para maka-spend ng time sa darating na projects na magre-require na mag-fieldwork ako. narinig ko ulit ang mga classic na litanya na sina ganito at ganyan, mabibilis sila kaya nakakahawak sila ng multiple projects, yadda, yadda, yadda - alam ko namang template na yung mga yun kaya hindi na ako nagulat. at issue din kasi ang tardiness ko for the past several months, na na-perceive as pagkawalang-gana ko daw sa trabaho. ako man, minsan hindi ko na rin maipaliwanag kung bakit ganun - nagpapagising na nga lang ako lately sa magulang ko para hindi ako ma-late kasi kapag hindi, ni hindi ko matatandaang tumunog ang alarm at lumipas na pala. hindi ko alam kung may sleep disorder ba ako o ano. sa malakas na katok sa pinto ako nagigising for the past couple of weeks. sa weekends lang ako nakakapag-relax pero this weekend ay nag-uwi ako ng trabaho kasi feeling ko ay kakapusin ako sa lunes kapag hindi ako nag-extra effort. minsan naiisip ko kung fair nga ba ang ganun, pero yung necessity na lang ang nangingibabaw eh - tipong tatapusin ko na lang muna yung trabaho at saka na lang mag-contemplate ng mga existential baggage at kung ano pang issues ko sa buhay. sinabi nung boss ko na magaling daw akong magsulat, na organisado akong mag-isip, at pinaalala niya sa akin na sinabi na niya sa akin yun dati noong nag-present kami ng mga research papers namin sa Thailand - she was basically saying na marami pa naman akong kayang i-offer pero parang mukha akong burned out. naisip ko bigla ang mga workdays na umuuwi ako na masakit ang ulo at gusto na lang kumain, mag-sepilyo, matulog at gumising para ulitin ang lahat ng iyon kinabukasan. naiintindihan ko naman ang boss ko to a certain extent - iniisip ko na lang na habol lang naman niya na mapabuti at umunlad ako sa trabaho ko. dapat daw kasi nag-i-initiate na ako ng mga bagay-bagay kasi mid-level manager na daw ako. naisip ko tuloy na sa calling card lang naman yun, pamagat lang - mas kino-konsider ko kasi ang sarili ko as a worker rather than as a manager. ewan, semantics lang naman yata yun sa bandang huli - at wag na nating pag-usapan ang sweldo at baka mag-MMK moment pa ako. sa totoo lang, noong una ay hindi ko alam na makakatagal ako ng mahigit 10 years, pero siguro nakuha ko rin naman sa pagtitiyaga yun - and i say that with all humility. inisip ko lang na siguro kapag nag-best effort naman ako ay may mararating din naman kahit papaano. pagkatapos ng meeting naming iyon, nagpasalamat pa rin ako at binigyan ako ng opportunity - toxic man iyon, i think kakayanin ko naman siguro. kakailanganin ko na namang patunayan ang sarili ko for the nth time - alam kong isa ito sa mga pinoy action movie cliches, pero parang doon lagi ang punta. ewan ko ba.</div>
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pagbalik ko sa cubicle ko, inisip ko na kung paano didiskartehan ang take-home assignment ko at para makauwi na rin kaagad. natapos lang akong mag-compile ng files na kailangan ko by 9:00 pm, at nakarating ako dito sa bahay ng mga 10:30 pm - i know, hindi ito ang uwi ng matinong tao galing sa opisina, pero minsan parang nakakabaliw at nakakasakal din ang ginagawa ko. and i have been struggling with this nagging notion for years na kahit anong gawin ko sa propesyon, i probably wouldn't be adequate - palaging may hihingin at hihingin pa rin sa iyo, and it's all in the name of "doing more." mahirap mag-struggle with the thought na "nothing is ever good enough" pero gusto ko din namang maniwala na may naiaambag ako sa organization namin - mahirapan man ako, i always guarantee that i'd give it my best shot. yun nga lang, i feel that the rigors of the job is taking its toll on me. siguro ang tanging motivation ko na lang para magpatuloy, para bumangon, ay yung mga mahal ko sa buhay: sina Nanay, Tatay, mga kapatid ko na may kanya-kanyang pamilya na, at yung makukulit kong pamangkin na sina Ally at Gelo. iniisip ko na lang na sa bawat sakit ng ulo sa trabaho, maaari kong makamit ang mga sumusunod: 1) makakabili ako ng gamot at vitamins ng mga magulang ko, 2) pambayad sa DSL para makapag-internet/skype para makakwentuhan sina Michelle, Rommel at ma-update sa schooling/misadventures ni Gelo, 3) pang-playroom and/or pang-grocery ni Ally ng mga paborito niyang food o kaya maibili siya ng mga gamit sa pagdo-drawing, 4) makapanood ng wrestling or pelikula sa cable tuwing weekend. sa totoo lang naman kasi, simple lang naman ang goal ko: to be able to live a good life - sapat lang, hindi kailangang maluho. mga simpleng kaligayahan lang kumbaga, oks na. sinasabi madalas ng mga kaibigan na "this too, shall pass." pero paulit-ulit mang mag-pass, sana maging worth it lang.</div>
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hindi ko alam kung may sense ba ang mga pinagsasabi ko dito. na-burn out yata ako sa huling mahabang entry na tinapos ko dito, pero hindi rin ako sigurado kung yun nga ang dahilan. pero sana, kung sakaling mawala ako sa sirkulasyon, susubukan kong makibalita sa inyo through your posts and other what-have-you's. whether i would be re-energized, i sincerely hope so. kasi kapag namatay pa ang diwa ko, ewan ko na lang kung anong gagawin ko.</div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-10682367800925475572011-08-18T05:11:00.007-07:002012-10-14T02:56:37.900-07:00a repost: galing kay Joyce<div>
natuwa ako sa post ng pamangkin kong si Joyce sa Facebook, kaya ni-repost ko dito. ito siya:</div>
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1.) press ctrl+f</div>
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2.) then type 6</div>
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♥</div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-74189078985189999972011-08-01T05:41:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:57:20.060-07:00Nintendo Pro Wrestling Geekness<center>
<a href="http://lambanogpusher.multiply.com/photos/album/46/Nintendo-Pro-Wrestling-Geekness"><img border="0" src="http://multiply.com/mu/lambanogpusher/image/9/photos/46/600x600/11/Poster-StarMan-vs-The-Amazon.JPG?et=nCMY5%2C0gmv9VVMyKEl6MMg&nmid=475567428" width="100%" /></a></center>
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these are some posters i made using MS Paint, a.k.a. the poor man's photoshop. the idea was that if i'd book the characters in the game for title matches, then these would be the stipulations to my liking. i had wanted to upload the bitmap versions, but apparently multiply doesn't allow it, so i had to settle for these lower-quality jpeg versions. since it is impossible to book these matches (except for the 2 out of 3 falls match) in the actual game, i just decided to make posters - which is the next best thing.lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-62816341280832589742011-07-19T07:19:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:58:20.553-07:00i'm grinding myself into dust again. Lord, please assure me that this is all worth it. thanks.<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-49454598276053244552011-06-23T21:10:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:58:44.936-07:00The Cris Bolado Special<img border="0" height="225" src="http://multiply.com/mu/lambanogpusher/image/6/photos/upload/300x300/TgQOPAooCyIAAFZvaOc2/Photo0376.jpg?et=82U3k%2CwaEpOuhZPDSXPHjw&nmid=0" style="float: right; margin-left: 5px; position: relative;" width="300" /><br />
<b>Description:</b><br />
fried pork meatballs with a spicy tomato sauce - this was inspired by a recipe done by Chef Jose Andres in his show "Made in Spain", but the original had squid and wine in it. this is not an imitation or rip-off, only a poor man's take on something watched on TV. i named it after the greatest back-up center in Philippine Basketball Association history, Cris "Jumbo" Bolado. bow. exit.<br />
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<b>Ingredients:</b><br />
for 1 kilo of ground pork, include the following:<br />
ground pork (kasim, with fat also)<br />
4 stalks celery, including leaves (kintsay, according to my mother)<br />
3 big red onions<br />
1 handful of garlic<br />
1 pinch of salt<br />
1 tsp. pepper<br />
1 sachet of magic sarap seasoning (2 sachets, if you decide not to use salt)<br />
3 eggs<br />
1 small carrot<br />
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for the rest, you will need:<br />
corn starch<br />
cooking oil<br />
chopped bacon (bits and ends will do, no need for the fancy expensive type)<br />
2 big white onions, chopped<br />
4 tbsps. chopped garlic<br />
4 medium chopped tomatoes<br />
3 medium chopped potatoes<br />
1 bay leaf<br />
salt<br />
pepper<br />
1 tsp. ground dried chili powder<br />
1 tbsp. ground spanish paprika<br />
quickie beef stock (1 beef cube dissolved in about 2 cups boiling water)<br />
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additional ingredients (optional, but worth a try)<br />
1 chopped carrot<br />
1 can mushrooms, chopped<br />
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<b>Directions:</b><br />
mix all the ingredients for the ground pork and put in the freezer for at least 1 day.<br />
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for the meatballs, get about 4 hands full of your ground pork and form bite-sized meatballs (you can use a spoon or your bare hands), and coat them with corn starch. heat enough oil in your frying pan for a few minutes and fry the meatballs until one side is crispy, then turn them using a spoon and fork until the other side is crispy too. set them aside so you could drain some of the oil. fry the bacon in a little oil until it becomes crisp, then set aside. fry the white onions until soft, add the garlic and cook until golden, then add the tomatoes. cook until the tomatoes have a somewhat sauce-like texture, then add salt, pepper, chili powder, paprika, bacon (and the fat, if you want) and potatoes. add the chopped carrot, and mushrooms if you decide to include them. stir for a few minutes, then add the beef broth and bay leaf. simmer this until your vegetables are tender. serve and enjoy. thank you.<br />
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-74454596060214581422011-06-03T04:21:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:59:10.501-07:00kahit hindi naman ako talaga nagsusulat para may magbasa, aaminin kong minsan ay hinahangad ko din na basahin nila ang mga ibinabahagi ko... siguro dahil ganun talaga tayo bilang mga tao - mas nagiging panatag ang damdamin kung alam nating may nagmamalasakit, at mayroong may pakialam sa atin.<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-80473788644979680612011-05-16T22:57:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:59:29.452-07:00"7,107 ways to enjoy the Philippines" - whoever thought of this and sent it to ANC 24/7 is smart. i think the Department of Tourism should consider this slogan.<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-38371831432931032372011-05-16T06:20:00.006-07:002012-10-14T02:59:49.639-07:00sabi nga ng Purplechickens: May Inlab na NagpapatiwakalMay hindi kailanman tinatawagan.Nakakalag: damdamin, tiyan.May iisang hapdi ang bigo.May inlab na nagpapatiwakal.May pagod na pagod nang mapagod.(Pagkakataong hagod nang hagod.)May iisang kirot ang bigo.May inlab na hindi nagmamahal.Binibini, tanggapin mo: mumunting alay ng nakayuko.Pakinggan mo: munting paliwanag kong lito.Kailan ka tatawag? (Titinag?)<div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4172814186397280525.post-60137660291868179832011-05-14T06:55:00.007-07:002014-01-07T03:29:29.466-08:00my one great love (as of 2007)<div class="MsoBodyText2" style="text-align: justify;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">just as i made it clear during the drinking/storytelling session where this topic was brought up, i have to qualify that my one great love that i’m about to talk about in this entry will not be my last one. i still believe that she will be in my future, whoever she might be, so pardon me for the anti-climactic and corny sub-title na “as of 2007.” medyo mahaba-haba ito, pero salamat at pinag-ukulan mo ng panahong basahin ito kahit papaano.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">this is more difficult to share through writing than through drinking bottles of beer with some friends, but here goes. this is quite emotional, but i’ll just shoot from the heart, as that’s the more direct approach. </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">i met her sometime in September 2005, through Penny, a female friend of mine. they used to be officemates, and one day, my friend texted me and asked if i wanted to date a friend of hers. sabi ko naman, i was open to the idea, so why not? although i am not much of a date person to begin with, i thought i’d give it a try. my friend texted me on a Thursday afternoon, kinamusta niya ako nung una, tapos tinanong niya ako kung gusto ko raw makipag-date. sinabi ko na okey lang, basta ba hindi naman maarte yung ipapakilala niya sa akin. hindi naman daw, so ibinigay na niya yung cellphone number nung kaibigan niya sa akin. siyempre, nag-background check kuno pa ako – tinanong ko kung taga-saang school, et cetera – pero siyempre, pa-epek ko lang yun. magte-text din naman ako, pero kumbaga kumuha lang ako ng buwelo.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">i finally summoned the guts na mag-text sa kanya after two days – that was on a Saturday evening – i introduced myself, sabi ko na friend ako ni Penny and i asked her if it was okay if i texted her at kung puwede bang makipag-kilala. napaka-formal ko pa nung una, as i kept calling her Vanessa, but she made me feel at ease by telling me: “Please, call me Vhan. Ü Tatay ko lang ang tumatawag sa akin ng Vanessa, and that’s usually kapag nagagalit siya.” after reading that, i finally loosened up at pinairal ang pagiging komedyante ko sa mga kasunod na messages. mula sa pagkukuwento ng mga pinag-gagagawa naming dalawa nung mga oras na yun, hanggang sa mga hobbies and interests namin, nag-usap lang kami thru text hanggang sa lumalim ang gabing yun. nalaman ko na pareho pala kaming musically-inclined dahil pareho kaming naggi-gitara. lamang pa nga siya sa akin dahil nakaka-kanta siya habang naggi-gitara, samantalang ako, hindi ko kayang gawin yun. alam kong napaka-keso, pero hindi ako nahihiyang aminin na parang nagka-instant crush ako sa kanya nang malaman ko yun – kahit ba hindi ko pa siya nakikita sa personal o sa picture man lang. sabihin na ninyong cheap akong lalake, pero wala akong pakialam. aaminin ko ding lumabas ang aking insecurity dahil nabanggit ko pa sa kanya na: “baka naman kapag nagkita tayo eh magtatakbo ka papalayo, eh kasi hindi ako gwapo.” sumagot naman siya, assuring me na hindi naman niya gagawin yun. matapos ang ilan pang exchanges ng mga text, nag-goodnight na kami sa isa’t isa at nagsitulog na.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">ganun nga ang mga naging tema nga mga sumunod na araw at gabi, panay kami text sa isa’t isa. mula sa “good morning. Ü,” “kumain ka na ba?,” “ingat sa pag-uwi.,” hanggang sa “goodnight, sweet dreams. Ü,” ay puro siya halos ang laman ng inbox at isipan ko. napaka-baduy, pero para akong gagong kilig na kilig every time na makakatanggap ako ng message mula sa kanya. isang sabado nga, nag-text siya sa akin pagkatapos kong lumabas sa banyo (naligo ako ha, at hindi “nakipag-meeting kay mayor”), at tinanong niya kung ano ba’ng ginagawa ko. ah di sinabi ko na kaliligo ko lang at manonood ng wrestling sa tv. sumagot siya ng: “wow, e di ang bango-bango mo niyan. pa-hug naman! Ü” nagulat naman ako, pero siyempre kilig na kilig ang buong katabaan ko sa nabasa ko, kaya siyempre, sumagot ako ng: “ok. Eto ang malaking *<b>HUG</b>* para lang sa iyo.” aba, eh mukhang masuwerte ako nung gabing yun kasi sinuklian pa niya ako ng umaatikabo at umaapaw sa tamis na *<b>MWAH</b>* at *<b>HUGS*</b>. ang babaw ko, ano? hindi nagtagal, mas naging sweet kami sa isa’t isa, kahit sa text lang, so naging common na sa amin ang *<b>MWAH</b>* at *<b>HUGS*</b>. by this time, alam na rin namin ang hitsura ng isa’t isa dahil magka-friendster na kami. at oo, inaamin ko na na-gandahan ako sa kanya sa picture pa lang dahil kahit simple siyang tingnan, eh sobrang lakas ng dating niya sa akin – at hindi ko yun maipaliwanag kung bakit. siyempre, gusto ko rin namang magkita kami, para naman mas makapag-kuwentuhan at magka-kilala pa kami. kasi, kahit naman gaano ka ka-detalyadong mag-text, nothing beats the real thing, ‘ika nga nila.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">on November 4, 2005, one Friday noon, we finally saw each other. sa Cubao pa kami nagkita, sa Mister Donut shop sa LRT2 station. when i got there, i knew i was late kasi she was already there in the shop, talking to one of the crew members who were working – i am so clumsy when it comes to directions, so oftentimes, i get lost before i manage to find a particular place. of course, i was nervous again, so instead of immediately approaching her at the table, i texted her first and told her that i was sorry that i was late –<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i even told her that i was wearing khaki pants, a black checkered polo and mojos and that i had a black and gray backpack. when she replied and told me it was okay, i immediately turned around and approached her – of course, i have already stolen a couple of glances at her before i even texted that i was already there. after our hi’s and hello’s, i told her that i was sorry that i was late, and that i had gone to the wrong donut shop – but of course, it was entirely my fault. what can i say? i just thought to myself: “mas maganda pala siya sa personal kaysa sa picture.” we talked about things, shared stories from the mundane to the humorous. i presented my most casual, candid and comic self to her, and i was surprised at her laughter – sinabi pa niya na para daw kaming sampung taon nang magka-kilala dahil sa rapport naming dalawa. i was holding her hand while we were talking, and was quite surprised how i did it, as it seemed to come naturally – i couldn’t take my eyes off her, either. simply put, i was smitten by her smiles and natural charisma that i dared to touch her hands while we were talking – and if she had slapped my hands away, i would apologize but wouldn’t regret having attempted doing it. i even asked her kung saan ba niya ako balak pakainin kasi nagugutom na ako, and even suggested na sa KFC na lang dun sa tapat ng shop nila, so lalo siyang humagalpak ng tawa sa sinabi kong yun. eh dun ko lang din nalaman na ang KFC pala ay sister company ng Mister Donut kaya medyo sawa na rin pala siya sa pagkain dun. so, nag-decide na lang kaming mamasyal nang magkahawak-kamay at bewang sa Gateway para kumain. noon lang din ako nakapunta dun kaya nagandahan naman ako sa hitsura nung lugar. nakiusap lang ako sa kanya na may bibilhin lang ako sa Odyssey at pagkatapos ay pupunta na kami sa food court. pagdating doon, siguro ay dahil sa awa na rin sa akin, ni-libre niya ako ng frostee sa Wendy’s, at pumili kami ng mesang pang-dalawahan pagkatapos ay nagkuwentuhan ulit kami. habang tumatagal ang kuwentuhan namin, para ba kaming dalawang artista na matagal nang gumagawa ng pelikula kasama ang isa’t isa kasi parang hindi kami maubusan ng ibabatong linya sa isa’t isa. napag-usapan pa nga namin ang balak niyang paglipat ng inuupahang bahay sa malapit sa office nila, at dapat nga ay pupuntahan pa namin yun para tingnan, pero since hapon na nga, eh wag na lang daw at saka na lang niya pupuntahan. pagkatapos naming mag-subuan ng frostee sa food court na tila baga magkasintahan, nagpasya na kaming bumili ng mangunguya sa 7 Eleven at dumirestso sa inuupahan niyang bahay dun din sa Cubao. magka-holding hands pa kami habang naglalakad at habang naka-sakay sa tricycle - hay naku, ang keso ng mga eksena, ‘no? grabe. if i only knew that this day would be perfect, i would’ve started it much earlier.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">when we got to her place, nag-sounds lang kami at kumain-kain ng chichirya at uminom sa iisang baso (oo, may uminom na sa basong yun, at siya yun). ang kuwentuhan namin ay nauwi sa harutan at ang harutan ay nauwi sa yakapan, and then we kissed. i was surprised, to tell you the truth, as one thing led to another. we didn’t plan any of it, those moments just came naturally, i guess. parang napaka-magical talaga kasi nagka-tinginan lang kami and then, BAM! i know many of you would probably raise your eyebrows and say “Ows?” or “Weh!”, but i was as surprised as anyone else. as far as i was concerned, that night, if she had asked me if i loved her, i would have said yes in a heartbeat. i know that sounds crazy and all, but for several years before that day, i’ve never met a lady like her who gave me that special feeling inside me. there were a couple of them who were attractive, but my admiration for them was futile and one-sided at best. Vhan was different – she had something i couldn’t describe or explain – she just had it.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">that night, we had to go our separate ways because she had a girls night out with her friends. i just told her to have a good time with them, and that i was thankful for that great day that we had. i texted her when i got home, and i have never had a smile in my face like that in a long, long while (i don’t smile too often, and when i do, it really means something very good, more often than not). the following weekend, we had lunch together and proceeded with her “lipat-bahay,” and i volunteered to be her official taga-bitbit ng gamit / alalay / funny valentine for the day. after bringing all her stuff to her new home in the city, i then accompanied her to the terminal where she took the bus going to Los Baños. i went back to <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Pasig</st1:city></st1:place> and texted her as soon as i got home. we already had this unwritten rule that as soon as we got home, we’d text each other to signify that we got home safely. and of course, it always seemed that the two of us always had stories to tell until the wee hours of the evening.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">as days became weeks, i realized that i am falling more and more in love with her. i wanted to be with her every moment, even if we both had day jobs, so we’d make the most out of the day by talking on the phone whenever our free time allowed it. i had been working on a research paper that i was scheduled to present at an international conference on public opinion in early December, and she was busy inspecting and auditing various branches of the donut shops. she made my mentally-exhausting office days worth going through simply because of the moral support she gave me. she believed in what i did for a living, in my NGO work, just as i appreciated her dedication to the food service industry. when she has had a rough day at work or when she whines about her boss, i would try to cheer her up as best as i could and tell her to remain patient, as she’d eventually get the recognition that she deserved. i always tried to assure her that i was behind her all the way. i was her biggest fan – and yes, if you find me cheesy or even corny, go ahead and laugh – it doesn’t change that fact. also, by this time, she had broken down my walls – walls that had been built by a failed relationship without any closure – and i’m forever grateful to the Lord for introducing her to me. she made me believe in love again, and this time, i wanted to be the best that i can be for her.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">as my birthday (Nov. 27) drew near, i introduced her to some of my friends and housemates over some home-cooked spaghetti, several beers and a healthy exchange of stories (that was Nov. 25, 2005, a Friday). i got a mug from her as a birthday present, although her presence was all that i needed. we spent that romantic night together, in each other’s arms. a couple of days later, i read the most wonderful thing in her blog. it turned out that i had been able to break down the walls around her heart also – it was great to read the words “I love you” once again. after so many years of unrequited love and unanswered questions, there was finally a lady who made me feel right again. she had changed my life from that moment. i told myself that after i get back from that conference, i’ll prepare something special for her – a night that we would both remember.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">the conference came and went, and so things were less tense at work after we got that out of the way. a couple of weeks after i got back, this was December 23, 2005, i got out of the office early and went to the grocery to buy a couple of items for dinner. i decided to cook something for her that night, a “labor of love” thing, so to speak. iba din kasi kapag ikaw mismo ang nagluto nung kakainin ninyo, mas personal, mas intimate. i prepared something i got to eat in <st1:place w:st="on">Hong Kong</st1:place>, at a Vietnamese-style restaurant. it was a fried rice dish with some curry, carrots, green peas, corn, squid, shrimp at saka dried fish na dinurog as topping. natakot pa nga ako kasi pagka-lagay ko nung pusit, biglang umitim yung laman ng kawali – buti na lang, umayos yung kulay pagkatapos ma-luto. kung hindi umayos ang kulay nun, malamang para kaming kumain ng burak. pero awa ng Diyos, naging makulay naman siya, at pati ang buong gabi naming dalawa. as we retired for the night, i thought to myself na ito na ang tamang oras. i looked at her eyes, held both of her hands and said: “I love you.” about a couple of weeks earlier, nag-text siya sa akin and she kind of blurted out the “I love you.” kaya sinikap kong gawing special yung evening na yun para masabi ko sa kanya face-to-face what i’ve been wanting to say to her. hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan nang sabihin niya sa akin ang mga katagang: “I love you too.” para akong nasa langit nung mga oras na yun, as we slept in each other’s arms. yes, right there and then, inialay ko ang buong puso, pagkatao at kalayaan ko sa kanya. oo na, ang keso na, pero yun ang isa sa mga masasarap na bagay sa pag-ibig – ang pagiging cheesy at corny. kung ikaw ay umibig na, naiintindihan mo ang tinutukoy ko.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">yun na siguro ang isa sa mga pinaka-masayang pasko (2005) dahil pagkatapos ng anim na taon ay nagkaroon na naman ng pag-ibig sa buhay ko – not that there’s nothing special sa mga nagdaang taon, i mean, yung family at friends ay palagi namang nandiyan – only this time, may special someone na nagpaparamdam sa akin na special din pala ako kahit papaano. iba talaga eh, kahit ba sabihin nating baduy o generic, masarap ang pakiramdam ng may iniibig lalo na kapag ang iniibig mong babae ay ganun din ang pakiramdam para sa iyo. for the first time, naisip ko na ang gusto kong tahakin sa buhay ay ang direksiyong kasama siya. bago magtapos ang 2005, isinama ko siya sa bahay ng college friend/kumpare ko dahil dadalaw kami sa inaanak ko kasama ang ilan sa mga itinuturing kong pinakamalalapit na kaibigan. ipinakilala ko siya sa kanila, at naging masaya ang araw naming iyon. katulad ng una naming pagkikita, para bang may connection siya agad sa mga kaibigan ko, na para bang napaka-natural ng pagkukuwentuhan. sa Laguna nga pala kinunan ang larawan naming ito sa bahay ng biyenan ng kumpare ko. tinagurian pa nga niyang “the big bear and the princess” ang picture na ito nang i-grab niya ito at i-post sa kanyang friendster page. hindi ko na sasabihin kung sino sa aming dalawa ang big bear at princess, dahil palagay ko ay halata naman dito. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0pcV06CuKW4hykZJhH0bBntk2jMS00n02QqJFcScJKJflqj9ySWZqK_XNcCXD_GBa3nB1DPH6ak_ajd9QOgsB82kz07QYDDyt2scrVFl9EcXa3QtO7ONrPzjHXCZrntTNCIw_K2TmMZRg/s1600/mic+&+vhan+06.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0pcV06CuKW4hykZJhH0bBntk2jMS00n02QqJFcScJKJflqj9ySWZqK_XNcCXD_GBa3nB1DPH6ak_ajd9QOgsB82kz07QYDDyt2scrVFl9EcXa3QtO7ONrPzjHXCZrntTNCIw_K2TmMZRg/s1600/mic+&+vhan+06.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-size: small;">napaka-memorable ng tagpong ito para sa akin, kaya medyo nanginginig ako at nagpipigil sa pag-iyak habang tina-type ko ang pangungusap na ito. pasensiya na, may bahid pa rin kasi talaga sa puso ko ang nakaraan naming dalawa kahit papaano. pa-sundot-sundot pa rin ang kirot at the roughest of times. minsan, kahit pa anong pigil mo, kailangan mo rin talagang padaluyin ang luha mo para sa ikagagaan at ikabubuti ng kalooban mo.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #000099; font-size: small;">nang pumasok ang bagong taon (2006), nakatanggap ako ng isang card galing sa kanya. hindi ko iyon makalimutan for the simple yet significant fact na isinulat niya yun sa itinuping retaso ng brown folder at nilagyan ng picture ng snowman sa harap. dalawang parts ang sulat niya sa loob nun, at narito siya:<br /></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbTT_9eScIvN28dszrO8GVzFXGxGFP7F-fRPHq1pDRxfPtjBp79jedNchIxH02uRnU6NWVtevsHWMs3AMtRaPeLdj3csQc949ad0Sx5fknSExKVmmNEIadSoEiYMCXrlxl8BdjNU02vII/s1600/card+Vhan+front.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbbTT_9eScIvN28dszrO8GVzFXGxGFP7F-fRPHq1pDRxfPtjBp79jedNchIxH02uRnU6NWVtevsHWMs3AMtRaPeLdj3csQc949ad0Sx5fknSExKVmmNEIadSoEiYMCXrlxl8BdjNU02vII/s1600/card+Vhan+front.jpg" height="203" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5XLM48eL5ugtUkL_3LGxG5BoOrdFVSfB4-fPFWy2EoeV4pUhui5-75GE3CgE-jPeg-EBhx9Rv-Wz4cPPV3G9SQAv9-hyTm896sX3VH142Vl9fcHYX-xKJw9K5wPKVXtWKy8WxkImYB2-G/s1600/card+Vhan+inside.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5XLM48eL5ugtUkL_3LGxG5BoOrdFVSfB4-fPFWy2EoeV4pUhui5-75GE3CgE-jPeg-EBhx9Rv-Wz4cPPV3G9SQAv9-hyTm896sX3VH142Vl9fcHYX-xKJw9K5wPKVXtWKy8WxkImYB2-G/s1600/card+Vhan+inside.jpg" height="207" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">matapos kong mabasa ang card niyang ito, napa-iyak ako dahil na-realize ko kung gaano niya ako ka-mahal. noon lang kasi may nagsulat ng ganun para sa akin. i realized there and then na mahal na mahal ko talaga siya – at nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos at pinagtagpo niya kaming dalawa. akala ko kasi noon ay hindi na ako makaka-tagpo ng pag-ibig na para sa akin, kaya medyo nawawalan na rin ako ng pag-asa sa buhay ko. kasi, yung previous relationship ko had no closure – as in my girlfriend at that time broke up with me, but still wanted us to be friends. when i tried asking why she broke up with me, she wouldn’t say. instead, she just wanted me to accept the situation as it is. i had become very cynical towards the concept of romantic love for about 5 years since. i was wandering ang wondering before i met her, but she changed my life. more importantly, she changed me the moment she came into my life. para bang ang hirap i-explain, mere words aren’t enough to describe the feeling. all of a sudden, things seemed to fall into place. all things made sense, and life made sense – because of her, the other half of my once broken heart. she wasn’t the perfect girl as she said in her letter, but she didn’t have to be perfect – dahil mahal na mahal ko siya at ang buong pagkatao niya nang buong-buo. she said that her heart belongs only to me, and i never forgot that. ipinangako ko sa sarili ko na siya na talaga ang babae sa buhay ko, at sisikapin kong maging isang mabuting ka-relasyon sa kanya.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;">isa sa mga madalas kong ginagawa sa kanya ay patawanin siya nang patawanin. yes, ako ang dakila niyang payaso sa tuwing uuwi siyang may baon na mga ngitngit patungkol sa boss niya, ang pang-comic relief sa mga tense na sitwasyon. ako din ang mahilig kumumbinsi sa kanyang wag na siyang ma-high blood sa amo niya, kumbaga ay advocate ako ng diplomasya pagdating sa work-related stresses niya. likewise, she was a steadying force sa pang-araw-araw na kabaliwan at sakit ng ulo na idinudulot ng pagka-tagtag ko sa opisina. natutunan ko na mas epektibo ang mga yakap niya kaysa sa kahit na anong brand ng paracetamol. lahat ng pagod at stress ko ay pawi agad dahil sa mga paglalambing niya. siya ang aking inspiration sa lahat ng gawain ko, at siya din ang pinag-aalayan ko ng mga achievements ko. sa kanya umikot ang puso, isip at mundo ko. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;">naging familiar na eksena sa amin ang sabay naming pag-uwi, sabay kakain, manonood ng tv, magtatawanan, magtu-toothbrush, at matutulog. natatandaan ko din na paminsan-minsan, ipinagluluto ko pa siya ng baon for lunch para sa pagpasok niya sa office kinabukasan. pagsapit ng alas-sais sa opisina, mag-uusap kami sa telepono at karaniwan ay magkakamustahan ng araw o di naman kaya ay magsusumbong siya sa akin ng mga pagka-inis niya sa supervisor niya over conflict in styles sa trabaho at kung anu-ano pa. ako naman, makikinig nang mabuti at hangga’t maaari ay kukumbinsihin pa rin siyang mag-pasensiya at daanin sa diplomasya ang mga bagay-bagay. on Saturdays, ihahatid ko siya sa bus terminal para makauwi siya sa Los Baños, pagkatapos ay uuwi naman ako sa amin sa <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Pasig</st1:city></st1:place>. pagdating sa kanya-kanya naming tahanan, magte-text kami sa isa’t isa para maibsan ang pag-aalala kung nakarating ba nang maayos at ligtas. kapag hindi magkasama, andiyan yung walang humpay na pagte-text ng mga<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sweet nothings at mga bagay na hindi ko na lang i-de-describe dahil sa pagitan na lang naming dalawa yun. i hope you understand.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;">pagdating sa pag-celebrate ng mga “monthsary,” usually kakain lang kami sa labas, libot nang konti sa mall at magkukuwentuhan. minsan, kapag kapos ako sa pera, ipinagluluto ko siya ng carbonara, fried rice or iba pang putahe – kasi gusto ko din namang may personal touch ang mga celebrations, kahit ba simple lang. mahilig din nga pala siya sa chocolate, kaya hangga’t maaari, meron akong “pang-lambing” sa kanya. aminado naman ako na hindi ako high-end na boyfriend, kaya kapag wala talagang datung na pang-date, bumabawi na lang ako sa mga sumusunod na pagkakataon. minsan kasi, sobrang harassed na ako sa trabaho, medyo nasasaid pa ang pera dahil sa mga bayarin at iba pang kailangang pagka-gastusan. opo, yan ang isang reality na kinakaharap ko noon, ang kakulangan ng date money at kalabisan sa workload at times. ganunpaman, we always make sure na magawan ng paraan ang aming mga pagdiriwang tuwing ika-23 araw ng buwan. naalala ko pa tuloy na niregaluhan niya ako noon ng calendar ng papemelroti – yung gawa sa recycled paper – tapos, lahat ng date na 23 minarkahan ko as our 1<sup>st</sup> month, 2<sup>nd</sup>, 3<sup>rd</sup>, 4<sup>th</sup>, 5<sup>th</sup>, 6<sup>th</sup>, 7<sup>th</sup>, 8<sup>th</sup>, 9<sup>th</sup>, 10<sup>th</sup>, 11<sup>th</sup>, tapos hanggang sa 1<sup>st</sup> anniversary. as in super-excited ako tuwing papalapit na ang 23<sup>rd</sup> day of the month dahil mas special ang mga moments namin together.</span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;">nag-schedule din kami ng “meet the parents” day. siyempre, kailangang espesyal ang preparasyon dito – mula sa menu hanggang sa presence ng bawat miyembro ng pamilya. sinundo ko siya noon sa may Kamias, sa Jollibee – at bago kami umalis ay nilibre pa niya ako ng sundae, yung may brownies sa ibabaw – kahit medyo na-late pa ako sa usapan namin. pagdating namin sa Pasig, ipinakilala ko siya sa mga magulang ko, sa mga kapatid ko at sa pinsan ko na kasama namin sa bahay. palibhasa ay gutom na kami, hindi na kami nagpaliguy-ligoy at dumirestso na sa hapag-kainan para mag-tanghalian. naalala ko pa na ang ulam namin noon eh sinigang na baboy – pareho nga pala naming paborito yun. siyempre, nagsusubuan kaming dalawa habang kumakain, mas nag-eenjoy kami kapag ganun eh. nag-kwentuhan pa sila ng nanay ko pagkatapos ng tanghalian – siyempre, much later ko na nalaman kung ano ang pinag-usapan nila kasi sa pagitan naman nilang dalawa yun. nang kami naman ang nag-kwentuhan, napag-usapan naman namin kung kailan namin i-sked ang “meet the parents” day sa kanila, at siyempre may lambing-lambing ding kasama. mukhang nagkasundo naman sila ng nanay ko kasi pinadalhan pa siya ng mangga at bagoong bago siya umuwi. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;"><st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">gaya</st1:city></st1:place> ng ibang mga relasyon, nagkaroon din kami ng mga tampuhan at di-pagkakaunawaan. natatandaan ko noon, nagpapasundo siya sa airport dahil manggagaling siya sa Zamboanga from a work-related trip. alam ko namang ang sasabihin ko dapat ay: “anong oras kita susunduin?”, kaya lang siguro sa magkahalong excitement at kaba, ang nasabi ko ay: “susunduin ba kita?” – kaya ayun, disgrasya. sinundo ko siya pagdating niya from Zamboanga, at muntik ko pa ngang hindi magawa yun kasi, that morning, biglang sumakit ang sikmura ko nang sobrang sakit at akala ko ay hindi ako makaka-recover para maka-sundo sa kanya. for those of you who already know, yun palang pagsakit na yun ng sikmura ko was an indication of a future surgical operation na pagdadaanan ko a few months afterwards. at first, i tried to contact her to inform her na sumasama nga yung pakiramdam ko, kaya lang “cannot be reached” ang kanyang telepono. so i tried to contact my friend Francis para i-inform about my debacle. sabi ko na i’ll try to get through the pain para maka-sundo kay Vhan sa airport, pero i-inform ko din siya, just in case hindi ko kayanin, to pick up Vhan from the airport. sabi ko sa sarili ko na sobrang wrong timing naman ‘tong pagsakit ng sikmura ko, itinaon pa kung kailan ako susundo. sa kabutihang palad naman, bumuti ang pakiramdam ko in time para magampanan ang aking responsibility for that day. kaso, tumawag pala itong si Francis kay Vhan at sinabi ang naging problema ko earlier. kaya shortly after ako maka-recover, tumawag si kumander sa akin at sinabing huwag ko na raw siyang sunduin. ang sabi ko naman, okey na ang pakiramdam ko at tuloy ang pagsundo ko sa kanya sa airport – na kahit siguro may iniinda pa rin akong sakit ay gagawin ko pa rin. pag-ibig na ang fuel ko eh, kaya tuloy na tuloy ang pagpunta sa airport. medyo maaga akong nakarating sa airport kaya matiyaga ko siyang hinintay, at nang natanaw ko na siya, dali-dali akong lumapit sa kanya at binitbit ang kanyang mga maleta, bag, at iba pang mga gamit. medyo proud pa nga siya nang salubungin ko kasi nagpakuha siya ng picture kasama si Sarah Geronimo sa eroplano. pagsakay namin sa taxi, dumiretso kami sa office nila to drop off some things. we then proceeded sa house na tinitirhan ko sa Sikatuna at that time, and nagpa-deliver kami ng pizza for lunch. after a post-lunch rest, ihinatid ko na siya sa bus terminal at isinakay sa bus ang mga gamit niya. </span></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099;">akala ko ay okey na ang lahat, pero <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country -region="-region" w:st="on">mali</st1:country></st1:place> pala ako. ilang linggo din siyang medyo inis sa akin at hindi ako kinakausap masyado – not her usual bubbly self, kumbaga. hindi ako magkanda-ugaga sa pagsuyo at paglambing sa kanya dahil sa katangahan kong iyon (see previous paragraph, second sentence). oo, inaamin kong kasalanan ko. nag-email pa nga siya sa akin ng isang medyo mahabang sulat because of that incident, explaining why she was acting cold towards me. kaysa sa ikuwento ko na lang, i’ll just show our exchange here. bale yung naka-itals na black text ang mga isinulat ko:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19px;"><i><span style="background-color: white; color: black;">sasagutin kita dito sa isinulat mo.</span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Vaneni wrote:</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Hi. Actually, im not good with speaking out my mind, i prefer writing them down. Kaya ngayun, id rather message you about what's on my mind now.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">I observed myself being cold to you these past few days...or should i say weeks na, even though im at field. Reflecting on this this weekend, i asked myself, "baket?". But then, I could not find a straight answer for it. So rather, I asked myself "san nagsimula ang pagiging cold ko sayo?". So then, i found the right answer. Actually nagsimula pala un dun sa pagsundo sa airport issue. I didn't realize till now na naging very big thing pala sa akin yun. Well, ok na <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> un, kaso the day pa ng flight ko, u got ill pa, so lalo lang akong nabadtrip. Francis even called me para sabihin ko daw sayo na wag magpasundo sayo dahil sa masamang pakiramdam mo. So naiwan ako sa air nun...what would I do alone with my baggages? Anyway, at least you still came along for me and nakita ko naman ung paghelp mo rin sa akin for the next few days, at saka sa dinners na nihanda mo....grabe i really appreaciate all of those kindness talaga. Thanks po talaga...</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--apparently, you don't know me that well, vhan. i couldn't blame you, but you'll eventually see na hindi ako ang tipo ng taong nandoon lang kapag good times. you'll find that out someday. i guess being kind isn't enough for you sometimes. about the thanks, sanay na ako na hindi sinasabihan ng 'thank you' dahil madali naman akong kausap. i do most things dahil gusto kong gawin at hindi dahil naghahanap ako ng kapalit. ilang beses na rin akong nagmahal na wala naming kinahinatnan, pero ok lang kasi ginusto ko naman—kahit ayaw nila sa akin. bahala ka na kung maniniwala ka. isa din yan sa mga hang-ups ko sa buhay—yung mga ginagawa kong mabuti ay kadalasan hindi naa-appreciate kaagad. sanay na ako, pero hindi mo siguro alam ang impact ng 'thank you' sa ibang tao. sometimes, make that most times, malaking kaligayahan na yun para sa akin. but apparently hindi mo pa alam yun. now you know.</span><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--by the way, nasaktan ako dun sa sinabi mo na feeling mo eh tira-tira na lang ang handa ko para <span class="yshortcuts">sa iyo</span>. pinakain ko na sina lhen kasi baka kako nagugutom na sila, kaya pinauna ko na. wala naman akong masamang ibig sabihin doon. kahit naman napagod ako sa pagluluto, bale wala yun kasi ikaw naman ang ipinagluto ko (note to self: sa susunod, alam ko na na ayaw mong may kasamang ibang tao—kahit hindi naman sila ‘ibang tao’ para sa akin, apparently ‘ibang tao’ sila para sa iyo). ipinagluto kita tapos yun pa ang sasabihin mo sa akin, manhid naman ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ako nasaktan—kumain ka na pala sa labas, pasensya na, hindi ko na-anticipate yun. noon ngang ininit ko yung sauce, napaso pa ako, hindi mo man lang inalis sa patungan ng kaserola yung noodles. Kaya napansin mo, medyo nagdabog ako kasi nga masakit yung pagkaka-paso e. pero di ko na lang sinabi sa iyo kasi ayaw kong dumagdag sa mga problema mo, kaya sinabi ko na lang kay leo na medyo sumama ang loob ko. pero tapos na yun, ayaw ko nang pagtuunan pa ng pansin.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">So as I reflect this weekend, i realized I'm becoming the girlfriend i used to be with robert...yung naghahanap more than what my partner can give. Being demanding, that is. Actually demanding is the last thing I would want to do in our realtionship. Sa totoo lang, you don't know how to please me, you still don't know kung ano ba ang mga gusto ko, you don't know how to melt my heart. I really appreciate your gestures--- yung mga dinner, ung pagpapakilala mo sa akin as friends mo, etc. But did you once ever thought na magiging masaya ako dun?</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--kung demanding ka talaga as a girlfriend, i guess <span class="yshortcuts">wala</span> akong magagawa to change that. sana lang, matuto kang umintindi sa karelasyon mo. hindi lang dapat sarili mo ang iniisip mo. minsan kasi, hindi ko alam kung <span class="yshortcuts">ano ang</span> dapat kong gawin para mapasaya ka. hindi ko pala alam kung paano ka i-please eh, so bakit hindi ka mag-open up? sabihin mo kung ano ang gusto mo. kaya nga ang bawat araw na magkasama tayo is a learning experience, dahil kailangan pa nating kilalanin nang lubusan ang isa’t isa. wala akong pakialam kay robert, hindi siya importante sa akin. sana sa tuwing naghahanap ka ng maibibigay ko sa iyo, isipin mo rin na ikaw man ay may mga ibibigay din. hindi ko kinukuwenta ang mga binibigay ko sa iyo dahil hindi naman yun ang punto kung bakit tayo nasa isang relasyon. hindi ito laro na dapat ay nagki-keep track tayo ng score. that’s what ruins relationships, yung pagiging ma-kwenta. hindi rin ako yung tipo ng lalaking napapanood mo sa mga generic na love stories, hindi ako conventionally romantic—pero mind you, para sa ibang babae, iba ang konsepto/indicators ng pagiging romantic ng isang lalaki. siguro magkakaiba lang talaga ang mga tao. vhan, ang pagiging maligaya ultimately is a decision. i used to think na yung pakiramdam ng pagiging ‘in love’ ang essence ng pag-ibig. hindi pala. it’s deciding na mahal mo ang isang tao at ang pag-stick mo sa kanya through thick and thin—yun ang pag-ibig. maaaring iba ang pananaw mo, pero i’ll respect that, kung ano man yun. i’m just saying na ito ang paniniwala ko. you said you really appreciate my gestures. i’ll take your word for it, although sometimes i feel na hindi mo naa-appreciate ang mga ginagawa ko. but still, gusto kitang unawain dahil mahal kita. and i don’t use the words ‘mahal kita’ dahil that’s the norm. sinasabi ko yun dahil yun ang nararamdaman ko at yun ang paninindigan ko. kaya nung unang sinabi mo sa akin thru text na mahal mo ako, hindi ako sumagot kaagad. nung una kong sinabi sa iyo na mahal kita, i really meant it—at hindi ko yun sinabi dahil lang sa sinabihan mo akong mahal mo ako. i said that after i realized that you were for real. and you are for real. vhan, <span class="yshortcuts">ikaw lang ang</span> nakakaalam kung ano ang makakapag-pasaya sa iyo. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> lang kasama ako dun. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place>.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Well anyway, di natin masisisi sarili natin. La namang ligawan na naganap eh. Never naman natin nakilala muna sarili natin before being in a realtionship.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--again, i’d like to reiterate, kaya nga each day together is a learning experience for us. let’s get to know each other paunti-unti. one day at a time. alam mo ang ayaw ko sa ligawan? yung pagpapa-sikat, yung pagpapa-impress, yung pagpapanggap. bawat araw na kasama mo ako, ipinapakita ko kung ano ang totoong ako. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> mas makilala natin ang isa’t isa habang tumatagal. </span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Actually all I want is time alone with you. Un lang. Manood ng sine kasama ka, magdinner na tayo lang 2, mag-stroll na tayo lang 2. Un kasi ung kulang eh. Lagi nalang may kasamang ibang tao pag may activity tayo. Di man tayo nakapagsarili, get to know each other better....</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--magsabi ka kasi. hindi ko mababasa ang nasa isipan mo kaya hindi ko malalaman kung ano ang gusto mo hangga’t hindi mo sinasabi. mahirap bang mag-open up? hindi mahirap mag-open up, sa totoo lang.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">So un, nagsimula lang naman po akong magising nung sa sundo-sa-airport issue, simula nun, i came to think what kind of partner are you. Then narealize ko rin ung mga kulang sa atin. Then na-realize ko din na im being demanding na.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--nagsimula kang magising nung sa sundo-sa-airport issue, simula nun, you came to think what kind of partner am i. nagsimula kang ‘magising’, i guess indication yan ng kung ano (masamang bagay siguro tungkol sa akin) ano nga bang klaseng partner ako? paano mo masasagot yan based on that incident alone? then narealize mo rin ung mga kulang sa atin. again, ano nga ba ang mga yun? then na-realize mo din na you’re being demanding na. so, kung nagiging demanding ka, paninindigan mo ba yun? <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> panindigan mo.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">If you're thinking this has got to do with <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Adrian</st1:city></st1:place> from zamboanga, (im sure you have opened na his friendster eh), then you're wrong. I'd still write this to you kahit di ko cya nakilala dun. Actually baka nga maging worse pa ang pagkabadtrip ko noon kung wala cya kasi wala ring maghahatid sa akin sa airport pag nagkataon.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--no, i’m not thinking na may kinalaman yan kay adrian from zamboanga, (and you’re wrong kung iniisip mo na binuksan ko ang friendster profile niya—besides, anong paraan mo para malaman na tiningnan ko nga ang friendster page niya? hindi mo naman siguro alam ang username at password ng account niya.) para sa kaalaman mo, hindi ako interesado kay adrian. as with robert, wala akong pakialam kay <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">adrian</st1:city></st1:place>. you can write what you want, lahat naman tayo ay malaya para gawin yun. kung iniisip mo na mino-monitor ko si <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">adrian</st1:city></st1:place> from zamboanga, you’re wrong. sinabi ko sa iyo na may tiwala ako sa iyo. it’s not my habit to spy on people. ma-bad trip ka na kung maba-bad trip ka, you’re human and you’re free to express whatever your feelings are.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">If you want to react on this, please reply nalang muna dito sa message na ito or sa email ko. I'm not ready to talk to you in peron muna, i have so many things in my mind right now. I need space muna.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--now i know kung bakit hindi ka sumasagot sa mga text ko. actually, kahapon pa ako nagtataka pero ayaw naman kitang pilitin kung ayaw mong makipag-usap sa akin. maraming bagay sa isip mo, and you need space muna. sige, you can have all the space you need. at least hindi ko na masyadong nararamdaman na para akong tau-tauhan dahil nalaman ko na ang dahilan ng pagiging malamig mo. that’s your freedom, and i will respect that. <span class="yshortcuts">nandito lang ako</span>, kung kailangan mo ako. kung hindi mo naman ako kailangan, pakisabi lang din sa akin kasi hindi ko naman mababasa ang isip at damdamin mo.</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: red;">Thank you....and sorry if i'm being cold to you, hindi ako mapagkunwaring tao at hindi ko kayang magpretend. This is how I feel right now.</span><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><i><span style="color: black;">--don’t be sorry for being cold to me, nag-desisyon ka ng ganyan, so panindigan mo. and don’t be afraid to speak your mind (or write, as the case may be).</span></i><i><span style="color: black;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-size: small;"><span style="color: green;">---vhan—</span><span style="color: green;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">--mic<o:p></o:p></span></span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-size: small;">ang daming issues na lumabas. nagulat din ako kasi inakala ko na okay na ang mga bagay-bagay. the lessons i’ve learned here: 1) everything becomes an expectation kapag ikaw ay nasa isang relationship – as in ‘wag ka nang magtanong kung gagawin mo ang isang task, instead, tanungin mo kung kailan / anong oras mo gagawin yun; 2) huwag mag-assume; and 3) <b>napaka-importante</b> ng komunikasyon / pag-uusap sa mag-partner. kung mukha akong masungit na oso sa mga pagsagot ko, i guess naging madamdamin lang talaga ako. isa pa, hangga’t maaayos ang mga bagay-bagay, ay susubukan ko ang mga para-paraan para maayos. magkaroon man ng tampuhan, usually ako naman ang unang nakikipag-ayos, regardless kung sino ba ang may kasalanan – kasi hindi ko matitiis ang isang taong mahal ko for a long time. masakit sa damdamin ko ang sumasama ang loob. sumagot man ako sa kanyang sulat, cold pa rin siya sa akin. kaya naisipan kong sumulat ulit, sa email: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">vhan,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">i guess hindi mo pa rin gustong makipag-usap sa akin. whatever the reason is, hindi ko malalaman hangga't di mo sinasabi. kung may shortcomings man ako <span class="yshortcuts">sa iyo</span>, then i'm sorry. i am not the perfect partner, but i am trying to be as good as i can. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> makapag-usap tayo soon. until then, i'm giving you the space that you need. hindi kita pipilitin kung ayaw mo pang makipag-usap sa akin. that's all i have to say.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #003300; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">--mic</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-size: small;">sumagot siya sa sulat kong iyon, at ito ang sinabi niya: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Elow.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm here sa laguna right now and nilalagnat ako, lumabas lang ako saglit to net. Sorry, hindi naman sa ayaw kong makipg-usap sayo, im just not very good with speaking up. Lam mu naman yan nung tumawag ka sa akin noon and nag-away tayo. I've said my piece sa message ko for you and andun na rin ung reason. Hindi ko lam how to summarize ung msg ko in few words, pero if you would ask me how i feel right now, i would say that i don't feel special. I don't know if it's because of you or me...basta that's how i feel. i know you've done much appreciated things for me, pero ewan ko, parang kulang. di ko ma-pinpoint kung ano yun. anyway, i guess i still have to talk to you personally kasi unfair din naman if di ko narinig side mo. siguro by next week nalang. kaw nalang mag-schedule. Pero be warned lang, im not very good at speaking up for myself, so don't be surprised if di ako magiging madaldal sa pag-uusap natin.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Gud day po.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">---vhan---<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-size: small;">ang sagot ko naman ay ito: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">vhan,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">then let's not force it. what's the point of meeting up kung hindi ka naman magsasalita, di ba? magsabi ka na lang kung kailan mo gustong mag-usap tayo. we can work this out, kung gusto natin pareho. gusto kong maayos natin ito. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> ikaw din. i don't understand why you don't feel special. you are very special to me, and i'm serious when i say that. i hope we can talk soon. magpagaling ka ha? hihintayin kita.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">--mic<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-size: small;">ang hindi ko maintindihan ay ang isinagot niyang ito:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">u know, you're so mature. i guess, i'm not. la lang, bigla ko lang naisip, anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">---vhan---<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-size: small;">kaya ang isinagot ko ay:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #003300; font-size: small;">i don't know what you mean by this. i'll just take it as it is.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">sorry sa pagco-copy and paste ha? at this point, baka isipin ninyo na para kaming mga retarded na naka-loop, pero hindi naman ganun. hindi pa rin siya sumasagot sa mga text at tawag ko, at hindi ko na rin alam ang gagawin ko para makapag-usap kami, sa totoo lang. ngunit may nangyari sa mga kasunod na mga araw kung kaya’t nagkaroon kami ng pagkakataong magkita at mag-reconcile / mag-bati. hindi agad gumaling ang lagnat niya, kaya nagpa-check up siya sa hospital. nang malaman niya ang findings, sinamahan siya ng mommy niya sa iba pang hospital. paano ko nalaman? tinawagan kasi niya ako right before siya magpa-confine. nalungkot ako kasi hindi ko siya nasamahan nung araw na yun, pero sinabi kong dadalawin ko siya sa hospital. kinabukasan, nagtanong ako ng directions sa kanya papuntang hospital. naalala ko din dahil tinanong ko pa siya noon kung anong gusto niyang prutas, kung grapes ba o oranges. sagot niya sa akin: “oranges na lang, dear. Ü” so, armed with a gallon of drinking water, a pack of cookies (na galing kay nanay) and a tray of oranges, dumiretso na ako sa Laguna upang dalawin ang mahal ko. sa kabutihang palad, hindi naman ako naligaw sa daan at natunton ko ang hospital. eh kasi i have this tendency na ma-ligaw sa daan – mabuti na lang at tinulungan din ako ni Lord nung araw na yun. matapos magpa-inspect kay manong security guard, dumiretso na ako sa kuwarto niya kung saan andun ang mommy niya sa kanyang tabi. nag-mano ako sa mommy niya at inilapag ang mga dala ko. iniwan muna kami ng mommy niya para may time kami together. at that point, para bang wala na ang tampuhan namin. pinunasan ko siya ng towel para medyo maibsan ang lagnat niya at nanatili sa tabi niya, hawak ang kamay niya. niyakap ko siya and i said: “i’m sorry” at humalik sa pisngi niya. kung puwede ko sigurong i-absorb na lang ang sakit niya nung mga oras na yun, ginawa ko na. yes, it’s impossible, i know, pero i’d do it in a heartbeat. at that point, bati na kami. wala nang sumbatan, wala nang sagutan. ang importante, magkasama kami nung delicate time na yun. as i went home that night, nagpasalamat ako at nakapag-reconcile na kami ni Vhan. ipinagdasal ko din na <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> gumaling na siya kaagad, dahil mahirap nga namang magkasakit.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">pagkatapos, i met her parents. we were planning to watch a movie that Saturday, pero since ang screening time would be in the late afternoon, hindi na kami tumuloy. instead, nag-shopping kami sa Cubao – we decided to cook dinner sa kanila kasi makukumpleto silang lahat sa bahay that night, i.e., andun lahat ng mga kapatid niya, sina Bob, Mark and Adrian, at uuwi ang daddy nila from Isabela kasama siyempre ang mommy nila. we took the bus pauwing Los Baños and got home quite earlier than expected, in spite of the horrible traffic – okay lang, magkasama naman kami kaya sulit ang pagod sa biyahe. pagdating sa kanila, medyo hiningal ako kasi paakyat ang daan galing sa gate ng subdivision nila. sinalubong kami ni Marcus, ang putting aso nila na medyo matamlay nung araw na yun. pinagbuksan kami ng pinto ni Adrian, ang kapatid niyang bunso, and shortly afterwards, nagsimula na kaming magluto. spaghetti ang nasa aming menu, at pinagtulungan namin itong ihanda – si Vhan ang nagluto ng noodles dahil takot akong ma-botch yun, samantalang ako naman ang nagluto ng sauce. since nagtatrabaho siya at that time sa food service industry, she knew by heart ang standard cooking time ng spaghetti noodles. ako naman, basta ko lang kinopya sa iba’t ibang tao ang recipe ng sauce – dagdag nang konti dito, bawas nang konti dun, tapos iniba ng konti para siyempre may konting twist. nang maluto na, tinikman na namin at sa awa ng Diyos, masarap naman siya. well, ang basis ko naman kasi was that walang nag-mura o napa-buga sa amin habang kumakain so i thought it was safe to assume at this point na successful ang operasyon. <span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> matapos magligpit, nanood kami ng tv – natatandaan ko pa na BITAG ang palabas noon kaya medyo nagche-cheer pa kami sa bawat kulukoy na nabibitag ni<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ben Tulfo. pagkatapos nun, Gladiator yata yung palabas sa kabilang channel, kaya pinatulan din namin at pinanood habang hinihintay ang parents nila. matapos ang featured na sine, pinatulog na ako ng prinsesa ko sa sala nila (di kami pwedeng magtabi sa pagtulog for obvious reasons <span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span>). madaling-araw na nakarating ang mommy at daddy nila galing Isabela. naalimpungatan ako dahil bukas ang ilaw, pero nagpasya akong bumalik na muna sa pagtulog dahil naisip ko na pagod sila sa biyahe at kailangan na ring magpahinga. kinabukasan, sa hapag-kainan, ipinakilala ako ni Vhan sa daddy niya. nagkuwentuhan kami ng daddy niya habang hinihintay ang almusal na niluluto ng mommy niya – basically mga getting-to-know you stuff tungkol sa family ko, my profession, saan ako nagtatrabaho, paano kami nagka-kilala ni Vhan, mga ganung bagay. brunch na nga pala yun kasi medyo tanghali na ang gising namin kasi napasarap ang tulog ng lahat. nang maluto ang ulam – ang super-sarap na pinatisang manok (sorry Abet ha?) – sabay-sabay na kaming nagsikain. ang dami kong nakain, pero hindi na ako nahiya kasi masarap talaga eh, at saka mahilig naman ako sa manok talaga. at eto pa ang naalala ko, paborito ng prinsesa ko ang nilagang okra (na hindi ko paborito pero kaya ko namang kainin) – pareho sila nung isa kong ex-girlfriend nung college. hindi sinasadya ang bagay na ito, nagkataon lang – tulad ng pagiging panganay nila pareho. pagkatapos kumain, nanood lang kami ng tv tapos nagtingin-tingin ng mga photo albums at kiddie pictures. ang cute ng prinsesa ko nung bata siya – medyo mataba pa siya nun at may bangs kaya parang ang sarap kurutin sa pisngi. siyempre maganda na siya nung una ko pa lang siyang makita. ako nga lang yata ang na-iwan ang lahat ng ka-cute-an nung kabataan. <span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span> inabot din kami ng hapon sa harap ng tv, magkayakap na nanonood ng showbiz talkshows habang nagbabalat at kumakain ng nilagang mani na niluto ng mommy niya. nang matapos kami, isang bundok ng balat ng mani na lang ang natira sa scene of the crime. hindi ko naiwasang hindi “makipag-meeting kay Mayor” (or mag-code 2 sa CR for the uninitiated sa term na ito) dahil sa dami ng kinain ko sa kanila nung araw na iyon. shortly afterwards, nagpaalam na ako sa mga kapatid at magulang niya dahil kailangan ko namang umuwi sa amin dahil papasok na uli ako sa opisina kinabukasan. matapos ang isang goodbye kiss, sumakay na ako sa bus papuntang Cubao at naglakbay na pabalik sa amin. napakasaya ng weekend na yun dahil pakiramdam ko na isa pa yung major step sa relationship namin. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">unfortunately, may nangyari naman sa aking isang major snag. on May 11, 2006, isinugod ako sa hospital dahil masakit ang sikmura ko at medyo nilalagnat din. nakakahinga naman ako, kaya lang parang may matinding pressure sa pagitan ng sikmura at dibdib ko. sinubukan kong hilut-hilutin nung una – madaling-araw ko kasi naramdaman yung sobrang sakit, as in nagising ako sa sakit talaga – kaya lang, parang palala nang palala ang sakit imbes na bumuti. ayaw ko pa ngang magpa-ospital nun dahil naisip ko agad yung gastos, kaya lang nag-aalala na rin ang nanay ko at that point sa kondisyon ko. with the help of our neighbors, brothers Mang Arthur and Mang Carling, i was brought to the nearby hospital’s emergency room. after getting my vital signs, the doctor gave me some medicine para dun sa sakit ng sikmura ko. pagkatapos, ni-ECG ako at ni-ultrasound para malaman kung ano ba ang karamdaman ko. medyo nawala na ang lagnat ko, pero while resting and waiting for the results, i couldn’t help but get worried kasi baka kung ano na pala ang sakit ko. ayun, sinabi ng doctor na may nakitang anim na gall stones sa gall bladder ko – at sinabi rin niya na puwede ko daw daanin sa gamot, or i could undergo surgery to remove them. after hearing that, nanlata ako dahil naisip ko agad na posibleng mawala ako nang matagal sa trabaho – eh may project pa naman akong hawak nung time na yun – and undergoing surgery would mean someone else would be assigned to handle it. shortly afterwards, nag-settle na kami ng bill sa hospital at umuwi na. pagdating sa bahay, tinawagan ko yung isa kong boss and informed him of my predicament. he advised me to get treatment immediately at huwag nang alalahanin yung project. nakausap ko din ang aming HR specialist and she said na magpa-confine na daw ako kaagad. my mother also had to get my healthcare card sa office kasi naiwan ko pa dun. i took the rest of the day off and tried to get as plenty of sleep as possible. kinabukasan, pumunta kami ng Nanay ko sa UERM para ma-confine na ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after some tests sa emergency room, we were finally admitted sa ospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that was a Friday, and the thought of spending the next few days in the hospital worried me a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i was hooked on dextrose immediately, and sabi ng doctor ko that i needed to rest and i’d have an ultrasound session kinabukasan para malaman nila ang diperensiya ko – of course, alam na naman namin ni Nanay kung ano ang sakit ko, so i just decided na matulog na lang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>mabuti din at may kakilala kaming nagtatrabaho doon – si Tita Nitz, na hipag ng Tiyo Aping ko – kaya medyo madaling nakakuha ng room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at that point, pumunta na sa ospital yung bunso kong kapatid na si Michelle kasama ang aking bayaw-to-be na si Rommel para magbantay sa akin, para makauwi si muna si Nanay kasi pabalik naman sila ni Tatay kinabukasan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi rin ako nakatulog nang maayos kasi every now and then ay may interns na nagche-check ng vital signs ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>mas naawa ako sa mga “bantay” ko kasi ang nipis nung bench na pwede nilang tulugan sa kwarto.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, bumalik si Nanay kasama si Tatay sa ospital para dalawin ako – at sinabihan niya si Michelle ng: “Isa ka pa!”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa mga hindi nakaka-alam, wala na ring gall bladder ang Tatay ko kasi naoperahan na siya dati – and he was ribbing Michelle na dahil sa kanyang diet, eh baka ma-operahan din siya (knock on wood).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang good news, nakalipat ako sa mas magandang kwarto kinabukasan – may cable TV, may couch na pwedeng tulugan ng magbabantay, at mas malaki ang banyo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shortly afterwards, in-ultrasound na ako para makita ang aking mga gallstones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nalaman din namin na namamaga pala ang aking gall bladder kung kaya’t in-advise ng doctor kong si Dr. Bongala na bigyan muna ako ng gamot na ilalagay nila sa dextrose ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kaya ayun, pahinga na naman ang drama ko for the second straight day, kasi my operation was scheduled on Monday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>umuwi na muna sina Michelle, Rommel at Tatay at that point at naiwan si Nanay sa ospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nung hapon, pumunta si Vhan sa ospital para dalawin ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>she took care of me that night, at umuwi na muna si Nanay para maasikaso ang mga tao sa bahay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, dinalaw ako ng pinsan kong si Kaye at bumalik din si Nanay para bantayan ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vhan had to go home to Laguna later in the day kasi may pasok na sa office kinabukasan, so she kissed me goodbye and went her way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one of the doctors talked to me about my sugery, discussed the type of anesthesia to be used, etc., and made me sign the proper documents for the operation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siyempre ninerbiyos din ako kasi surgery yun eh, at kahit ba may anesthesia yun, eh masakit pa rin yun pagkatapos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kaya nanood na lang ako ng wrestling sa cable para ma-relax, at WWE Backlash 2006 ang featured noon sa Jack TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>before sleeping, i prayed to God for courage to undergo my surgery the following day – and i should’ve prayed for a good night’s sleep too kasi for the third consecutive day, i couldn’t sleep properly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Monday, May 15, 2006: my surgery was scheduled at 3:00 pm, at kinakabahan talaga ako habang naghihintay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when i was wheeled papuntang operating room, i prayed that nothing would go wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang humiga na ako sa operating table, they injected the anesthesia sa spine ko and i felt that it was cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shortly afterwards, i blacked out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang medyo mag-wear out na ang anesthesia, i heard voices na dini-discuss yung girl patient na naka-confine dahil daw hinabol nung ex-bf at pinagsa-slash ng cutter – i thought to myself: what a terrible thing to do, at parang gusto kong magalit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>but my concern then was the anesthesia wearing off, and i was feeling the hooked needle stitching on the right side of my belly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when the operation was thru, i spent some time sa recovery room before i was wheeled back sa kwarto.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>since i was drugged with diluted morphine that night, i had the best sleep i could have during my stay at the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">kinabukasan, ang sakit ng pakiramdam sa tiyan ko dahil dun sa tahi kung kaya’t kailangan kong i-pressure ng unan yung tahi ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at SOBRANG SAKIT kapag umuubo ako o kaya kapag natatawa kung kaya’t umiwas muna ako sa panonood ng mga sitcoms at kung anumang mga nakakatawang programa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>mabuti na lang at NBA playoffs nung mga panahong iyon at kung di ako nagkakamali, game 7 nung LA Clippers-Phoenix Suns series at nag-overtime pa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at oo nga pala, naka-catheter na ako nun kaya sobrang sakit din ng alaga ko – punyeta talaga, lalo na kapag umaga at “nakasaludo”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pasensiya kung medyo graphic, ganun lang ako magkwento talaga, lalo na kapag yung masasakit na bagay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nga pala, dinalaw ako nung officemate / kaibigan kong si Mear at dinalhan niya ako ng juice (kasi tinanong niya kung ano request kong dalhin niya).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so ayun, habang nag-ga-gantsilyo ang Nanay ko ay kung anu-anong kinuwento niya kay Mear – mula sa sex life nila ng Tatay ko hanggang sa nunal ko sa bayag na diumano’y dahilan ng pagiging malibog ko gaya ng Tatay ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siyempre, para na niya akong inilaglag, di ba?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as in hiyang-hiya ako talaga ako noon, pero anong magagawa ko?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so, pinagtawanan ko na lang ang sarili ko sa kahihiyang inabot ko noong hapong iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the following day ay dinalaw naman ako ni Vhan after she came from work, para may quality time naman kami – iba rin talaga ang pakiramdam kapag siya na ang nasa tabi ko, nababawasan ang sakit na nararanasan ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>basta, di ko ma-explain pero ganun ang effect niya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, pinatanggal na ng mga doktor ang catether sa nurse, at “nagtago ang pagong” sa sobrang kahihiyan dahil at least anim na magagandang nursing students ang audience ko nung umagang iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Diyos mio, for another day ay gusto kong mamatay sa kahihiyan sa mga comical situations na kinasangkutan ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>dinalaw ako ni Michelle after ng duty niya sa ospital (physical therapist kasi ang kapatid ko) para kamustahin at makipag-kwentuhan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nga pala, that day ay pwede na raw akong kumain ng “real food” (low sodium, no fat)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>according to Dr. Bongala – kasi after surgery, i was only allowed to eat crackers and drink water / juices.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kaya nung bumili ng barbecue sa SM ang Nanay ko, eh para akong gutom na pating kung kumain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ganun lang ang gawa ko sa ospital: kain, tulog, nood ng tv – nakakabagot pero wala naman akong magawa dahil bedridden nga ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the following day, i was cleared to go out para sa bahay na lang ako makapag-pahinga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i thanked the interns na na-assign sa akin before we left.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>mga 1 month din ako mahigit-kumulang nagpahinga sa bahay to recover.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during that period, dinadalaw ako ni Vhan paminsan-minsan para maalagaan niya ako and for us to be able to spend time together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i felt really blessed because i had her by my side.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">after several weeks, i had to go back to Dr. Bongala para tanggalin yung <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">granada</st1:city></st1:place> ko and to patch up my wound.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pag-uwi ko sa bahay, i had just finished a glass of water when i received some very bad news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vlad, an officemate / friend texted me that a colleague of ours, Penn, who was our Senior Programmer, had passed away earlier in the day because of a heart attack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i was floored.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after a few minutes of shock, i called the office to confirm the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i wanted the news to just be a joke, but i knew i was wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i was scheduled to report back for work the following week, at namatayan ako bigla ng kaibigan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sobrang sakit ng pakiramdam – at kung ikukumpara ko sa operasyon ko, Penn’s death hurt me a hundred more times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>so i went back to the office the next day para sumama sa kanila sa burol ni Penn sa Batangas – taga-Tanauan kasi sila ng family niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i also told Vhan about it kasi she knew <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:state w:st="on">Penn.</st1:state></st1:place><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it was truly a sad time, although when he was finally buried, hindi ako umiyak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ewan ko kung abnormal ba ako o ano, kasi kahit nung namatay ang Lola ko at yung Tito ko two years earlier ay di rin ako umiyak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pero nalungkot ako at nagdamdam, so i guess hindi ako ganun ka-abnormal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for the next few weeks, i tried to get back in the groove sa trabaho, at sa personal kong buhay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it was quite difficult, pero kailangang gawin – at kailangang pagdaanan.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">in the months that followed, both of us were busy at work, but we tried to get together for our Friday nights para naman may time pa rin kami sa isa’t isa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vhan at that time was attending classes at the <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placetype w:st="on">College</st1:placetype> of <st1:placename w:st="on">Saint Benilde</st1:placename></st1:place> on Saturdays – a course that was related to her work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one Saturday morning, ihinatid ko siya sa sakayan as she prepared for her Saturday class sa CSB.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shortly after lunch, tinawagan niya ako sa cellphone – nasa SM Megamall daw siya at hindi na raw siya papasok kasi nasira ang zipper ng backpack niya at hindi niya maayos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>parang mangiyak-ngiyak ang boses niya kung kaya’t sinabi kong papunta na ako at maghintay lang siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya makadaan sa Mister Donut shop sa SM Megamall kasi siyempre malalaman nilang hindi siya pumasok sa klase.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang magkita kami, para pa rin siyang iiyak pero pinatahan ko na lang siya at sinubukang ayusin yung backpack niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ayun, awa ng Diyos ay naayos ko naman at bumaligtad ang simangot niya at naging ngiti.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nag-stroll lang kami at tumingin-tingin sa toy shop, kung saan may tiningnan siyang bolang kristal na tinatanong niya ng kung anu-anong bagay katulad ng: “malaki ba ang t*t* ni Dennis Trillo?” and all that shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagkatapos sa toy shop ay nag-take out kami ng merienda at umuwi na.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagsapit ng September, nag-ipon na ako ng pera para makapag-dinner date kami sa birthday niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at the time ay halos wala akong savings dahil sa mga insurance bills at kung anu-ano pang bayarin napupunta ang mala-Coke ‘sakto kong sweldo, but i always tried to find a way para makapagsaya kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>on the Saturday after her birthday, sinundo ko siya sa Mister Donut shop sa SM Megamall kung saan pinakilala niya ako sa shop manager at pagkatapos ay nag-dinner na kaming dalawa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>enjoy naman ang aming gabi at masaya naman siya sa birthday celebration niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinapos nga lang ako ng pera kaya hindi ko siya nabigyan ng flowers, kaya medyo nanghinayang din ako kasi hindi ko maibigay lahat sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>medyo nahirapan din kaming sumakay ng taxi pauwi pero nakahanap din naman kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang nasa taxi pauwi, may inaayos kaming bracelet niya na medyo natagalan din pero nagawa din naman namin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagdating namin sa bahay, nagpahinga na rin kami after our “masahe session.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan ay ihinatid ko na siya sa sakayan papuntang bus terminal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>when i got home, nag-text ako sa kanya – i apologized for i couldn’t afford to give her flowers, and all i could buy for her was dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>she replied: “masaya nga ako eh. di na baleng walang flowers, ang mahalaga ay magkasama tayo.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hayaan mo, sa birthday mo, sa Italianni’s tayo.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>somehow, i felt relieved – and i also still had a couple of months para mag-prepare for a better date.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>little did i know that that was all the time we had left for our relationship.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">November came quickly, and inisip kong one year na rin pala since we first saw each other in person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during this time, toxic ang work schedule ko as i was handling a client that was quite a handful – needless to say, work took its toll on me and i remembered getting sick and not being able to report for work one day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>noong araw na iyon, Vhan and i talked on the phone and she said na gusto niya akong alagaan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i remember telling her na magpapagaling ako kaagad kasi malapit na ang birthday ko and i wanted to celebrate it with her – i expected it to be extra special kasi nga it would be my first birthday celebration na officially magka-relasyon kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as my special day drew near, may mga pagkakataon na hindi ko mabigyan ng time si Vhan because of my work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at naramdaman ko ang pagtatampo niya dahil sa matatamlay niyang replies sa texts ko – naisip kong baka stressed lang din siya kaya ipinagdasal ko na lang na sana ay maikling phase lang yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about a week before my birthday, we were supposed to meet kasi nagluto ako ng leche flan at ref cake para sa kanya, kaso at the last minute ay hindi raw siya puwede at sinabi niyang bukas na lang daw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, i stayed a bit late sa office (a bit late as in ako na ang huling tao sa office) because i was preparing presentation materials for a client briefing the next day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hinintay ko siya at pagdating niya, inilabas ko na ang aking matatamis na sorpresa para sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>napansin ko na matamlay si Vhan as she was eating kaya tinanong ko kung may problema ba.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what she said after that was probably the most difficult question that anyone has ever asked me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tinanong niya ako: “Anong mararamdaman mo kung sasabihin kong makikipag-break na ako sa iyo?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nagulat ako na parang binuhusan ng malamig na tubig.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>patlang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang nasabi ko pagkatapos ay: “Mahal, may problema ba?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ayusin natin ito, pag-usapan natin.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pero katahimikan lang ang isinagot niya sa akin, ayaw niyang magsalita.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>noong mga sandaling iyon, umiikot ang isipan ko at hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kahit ikinatatakot ko, tinanong ko siya ng: “May iba na ba?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>matapos ang panandaliang patlang, sinabi niya sa akin: “Bakit, kailangan bang may iba?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naisip ko tuloy: “Bakit ito nangyayari sa amin?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kung kailan naman ako masaya, saka naman siya mawawala…”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang umuwi kami ni Vhan, ikinuwento ko sa kanya habang nasa tricycle kami kung paano kami naghiwalay nung dati kong girlfriend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>backgrounder muna: Sherryl and i met in college, sa sociology organization namin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>barkada lang kami at first, pero nagka-develop-an kami eventually.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during the summer of 1999, enrolled kami pareho – i was taking general psychology and sex and culture, a.k.a. anthroplogy 187, while she took up another anthropology elective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after class, we’d usually meet sa tambayan ng org, lunch, kwentuhan ang other what-not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nagsimula lang sa tuksuhan, tapos we ended up being representatives a couple of times for our organization sa Freshman Orientation Program Committee (FOPC) ng UP Diliman where were required na tumambay sa tambayan ng FOPC kung saan nag-a-assist kami sa rummage sale or nagbabasa lang ng books.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>for several instances, sabay kaming umuuwi – hinahatid ko siya sa boarding house niya sa Teacher’s Village, <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">sa Magiting Street</st1:address></st1:street>, tuwing hapon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang mga paglalakad namin along Magiting ay nauwi sa holding hands at mahahabang usapan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i finally admitted that i had feelings for her, and after the fateful first kiss, the rest was history.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the break-up was very unexpected though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shortly after our fourth month together, and a few days before my birthday, nakipag-break sa akin si Sherryl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hinatid ko siya sa boarding house after her student council meeting, and pagkaupo namin sa veranda, may sasabihin daw siya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i jokingly remarked: “Makikipaghiwalay ka ba sa akin?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in a cruel twist of fate, sinabi niya: “Ay, ang galing naman, nahulaan mo.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>akala ko, nagbibiro lang si Sherryl pero seryoso pala siya noon – basta ang sabi niya, maging friends na lang daw kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya nagbigay ng dahilan, wala din namang third party.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>basta lang daw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>natatandaan ko na habang naglalakad ako sa Cubao papuntang sakayan ng jeep, umulan pa at tamang-tama na wala akong dalang payong – yes, the stupid rain completed my melodrama that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>inamin ko kay Vhan na nagkaroon ako ng hang-ups dahil wala kaming naging closure ni Sherryl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinabi kong may mga times na minumura ko sa isipan ko ang ex- ko dahil sa hindi man lang niya sinabi kung bakit siya nakipag-kalas, na pakiramdam ko ay walang kwenta ang aking damdamin sa kanya kasi ni hindi siya nag-dahilan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tinanong ako ni Vhan kung mumurahin ko din ba siya sa isipan ko pagkatapos ng gabing iyon, pero sinabi kong hindi ko yun gagawin sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang nasa Kamias na kami, napagkasunduan na lang naming mag-text sa isa’t isa kapag nakauwi na sa bahay – wala rin kaming ma-resolve na issues that night dahil naging mailap din sa pakikipag-usap si Vhan – either that, or talagang ayaw na lang niya akong kausapin at masyado lang akong tanga to realize that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang nakasakay ako sa jeep, lumulutang ang isip ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyayari sa relasyon namin… ni hindi ko alam kung may relasyon pa kami matapos ang literal na paghihiwalay namin ng landas nung gabing iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagdating ko sa bahay ay nag-text ako agad kay Vhan, at hinintay kong sabihin niyang nakauwi na rin siya bago ako matulog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>halos hindi ako nakatulog nung gabing iyon, at sa pagsisimula pa lang ng kasunod na araw ay tila ba napili akong pagtripan ng Murphy’s Law – nabagsakan ako ng trapal ng tindahan ng Nanay ko pagkalabas ko ng gate – naisip ko na lang na baka bumuti rin ang araw na iyon para sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pumunta kami ng boss ko sa client para sa aming presentation, at maayos naman ang naging daloy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagbalik sa opisina ay nag-text ako kay Vhan, binati ko siya ng happy 11<sup>th</sup> month para bukas (November 22 kasi noon, and kung saka-sakali, November 23 ang 11<sup>th</sup> month namin).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya nag-reply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>parang gusto kong umiyak, pero nagpasya akong magpaka-robot at magtrabaho na lang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko alam kung tama ba o <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country -region="-region" w:st="on">mali</st1:country></st1:place> yung ginawa kong pag-text, pero kasi nami-miss ko lang talaga siya – at siya lang ang talagang makakapag-pasaya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>gusto kong isipin na maaayos pa namin at mase-save ang relationship namin, at kailangan lang siguro naming mag-usap in order to do that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, i tried to convince her na magkita kami para makapag-usap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pumayag naman siya at pinuntahan ko siya sa McDo sa may Ayala MRT Station, and may pasalubong pa ako sa kanyang chocolate kasi nga mahilig siya sa chocolates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>natuwa naman siya sa pasalubong ko pero ang ilap pa rin niyang kausap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>samahan ko daw siya sa Cubao kasi may bibilhin siya for her brother, so pumayag naman ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang naglalakad kami sa gitna ng napakaraming tao, narinig niya ang kantang “I Love You, Goodbye” na pine-play sa PA system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinabi niya sa akin na swak daw yung lyrics sa nararamdaman niya noong mga sandaling iyon. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nalungkot ako lalo nang marinig ko sa kanya ang mga katagang iyon, pero ayaw kong ipahalata.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinabi niyang bakit daw kasi ayaw ko pang tanggapin ang proposition niyang mag-break na lang kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>parang gusto kong kumanta ng “Di Ko Kayang Tanggapin” ni April Boy Regino pero sa sobrang bigat ng damdamin ko nung time na iyon ay hindi ko na ginawa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagsakay namin ng bus papuntang Cubao, sinubukan kong makipag-usap, hoping na makapag-resolve kami ng kung anumang mga issues, ngunit every time ay palagi niyang iniiba ang topic at nagkukuwento na kesyo may pinanood raw sila nung mga friends niya na mga European art films, et cetera, et cetera hanggang makababa na kami sa Cubao.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinamahan ko siyang bumili ng tubig kasi nauuhaw siya, at in-attempt ko pa ring makipag-usap kahit mukhang <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">malabo</st1:city></st1:place> nang pagbigyan pa niya ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kesyo daw hindi kami nakakapag-spend ng time together, hindi kami nanonood madalas ng sine, ni hindi raw kami nakakapag-out-of-town – basically ay sinasabi niyang wala daw akong time para sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang naglalakad kami papuntang bus terminal, i was apologizing for my shortcomings and i was humbly asking her to give me the chance to make it up to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinabi kong gagawan ko ng paraan at pag-iipunan yung mga kagustuhan niyang iyon, and i just needed some time to do it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya kumikibo, and i was afraid that my pleas have fallen unto deaf ears.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang pasakay na siya sa bus, i asked her if puwede bang mag-text siya kapag nasa bahay na siya, and she said yes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>as i turned around, naglakad na ako along EDSA at tumawid papunta sa sakayan ng jeep pauwi sa amin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>marami akong naiisip, at natatakot akong baka tuluyan nang mawala si Vhan sa buhay ko.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">kinabukasan, hindi kami nagkita – kahit na every Friday ay nagkikita kami, sabi ni Vhan na hindi raw siya puwede that time dahil may lakad siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>since hindi ko gawain ever ang mamilit, i took her word for it at nagparaya na lang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sabado, may lakad naman daw sila ng high school friends niya sa Caliraya, pero sinubukan ko pa ring tumawag-tawag sa cellphone niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya sumasagot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Linggo, November 26, 2006, hindi pa rin ako mapakali…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>halos buong araw akong tumatawag at nagte-text sa kanya pero wala pa rin, hindi pa rin siya sumasagot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after several tries that day, sumagot siya at tinanong kung bakit ako tumatawag – sabi ko, pwede ba kaming mag-usap, tapos tinanong niya kung ano ba daw ang pag-uusapan namin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>magkahalong exasperation at desperation na ang nararamdaman ko nung mga sandaling iyon, at hindi ko na alam kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin o gawin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang masaklap pa noon, kung kailan naman sinagot niya ang tawag, saka pa ako naubusan ng load.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nakisuyo pa ako sa pisan ko para makabili ng load, para lang makatawag ako ulit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ngunit nang tawagan ko siya ulit, hindi na siya sumasagot sa akin – imbes na sumagot sa mga tawag ko, nag-text siya sa akin ng mahabang mensahe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko na natatandaan ang buong verbatim content nung text niya, pero ito ang punto niya: sorry kung masakit ito para sa iyo, hindi ko gustong saktan ka… pero mali din naman kung makikipag-relasyon pa rin ako sa iyo kahit wala na akong nararamdaman para sa iyo… and please, don’t try to save our relationship dahil hindi rin naman ako magpapa-save… thanks for loving me much, i really felt what it’s like to be loved… you don’t deserve an immature, selfish girl like me… alam kong mahirap para sa iyo, but please, try to be happy – wag mong i-depend ang happiness mo sa akin… we both deserve to be happy, yun nga lang, not with each other siguro… ayun, ganun ka-brutal ang SMS minsan, at damang-dama ko ang brutality niya nung gabing iyon – parang mina-maso ang dibdib ko sa sobrang sakit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bago ako matulog ay nagpapalit muna ako ng baryang pamasahe sa Nanay ko – sinubukan kong huwag magpahalata, pero nang tanungin niya ako kung may problema ako, hindi ko na napigilan ang aking sarili.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naghuhumikbi kong inamin na wala na kami ni Vhan at nakipag-break na siya sa akin nung gabing iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>niyakap lang ako nang mahigpit ni Nanay at sinabi niyang nahahalata daw niya ako nung mga nakaraang araw na parang may dinaramdam daw ako – sinabihan niya ako na mas nasasaktan siya kapag nasasaktan ako nang ganun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nung mga sandaling iyon, hindi ko maintindihan ang sinabi niya – several years later ko lang naunawaan ang ibig niyang sabihin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagbaba ko sa kwarto ko, sinubukan kong matulog na lang kaagad dahil may pasok pa ako kinabukasan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bukod sa pagtatanong ko sa sarili ko kung saan ako nagkamali, para akong tanga na iyak nang iyak at hikbi nang hikbi hanggang sa makatulog na ako.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">kinabukasan, Lunes, birthday ko na.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>maaga akong nagising at pumasok sa opisina.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi na lang ako pumunta sa main building para sa flag ceremony, imbes ay dun na lang ako sa may sliding door ng aming annex building kumanta ng pambansang awit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang mag-announce sa kabilang building an gaming HR specialist na birthday ko nung araw na iyon, tumalikod na lang ako at naglakad pabalik sa work area ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>halos maghapon akong walang imik, nagtatrabaho lang na parang robot, hinihintay na pumatak ang alas-sais para matapos na ang araw at makauwi na ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bandang hapon ay may nagpa-merienda – malamang si Ate Jen yun, ang aming librarian, dahil birthday niya the day before – at dinalhan pa ako ng ice cream ni Cherrie, yung isa naming officemate, dahil birthday ko nga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>masakit man sa loob ko ay tinanggihan ko ang ice cream, kahit na nag-effort si Cherrie para doon – sinabi kong masama lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pero much later, i explained sa kanya yung totoong dahilan kung bakit sobrang down ako nung araw na iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>uuwi na <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> ako nang tapikin ako sa balikat ni Vlad, ang supervisor slash kaibigan ko sa opisina – tinanong niya ako kung may problema ba.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>dahil hindi naman ako good liar, inamin ko sa kanya ang masaklap na pangyayari habang pinipigilan ko ang pag-iyak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kahit papaano, parang gumaan-gaan yung dinadala ko sa damdamin ko sa pag-share kong iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nevertheless, dinaan ko na lang sa pagtatrabaho ang sakit na nararamdaman ko araw-araw, and i thought to myself na kahit paano ay naging focused and effective naman ako as a worker because of that – although during idle moments ay doon ko nararamdaman na may void sa puso ko because i felt unwanted – sad but true, during those times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and during those times, uso pa ang friendster – and you don’t have to guess who deleted me from her friends list during this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>grabe, at eto naman ako na para namang tanga na nagpapadala ng friend request kay Vhan hoping that she’d accept – para akong aso na hahabol-habol kahit figuratively ay sinisipa-sipa na ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>aminado akong matagal bago nawala ang hang-ups ko dahil sa ‘isang delete’ na yun – simula nang makipag-break siya sa akin, halos araw-araw kong tinitingnan ang profile niya, hoping she’d accept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i was hoping na magkakabalikan pa kami, and all i needed was for her and i to talk about things – either that, or talagang in denial lang ako noon at sobrang tanga to realize na wala na talaga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang tanging pinanghahawakan ko lang ay ang hindi pa niya pag-delete sa mga pictures na magkasama kami, hence my illusion na baka magkabalikan pa kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>halos isang buwan din akong ganun, lumulutang ang isip, hindi alam kung anong ibig sabihin ng mga bagay-bagay – napaka-ironic lang, kasi analyst ako by profession, and yet here i was, too incompetent / dumb to understand the meaning of what was happening to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nag-confide din ako kay Mear eventually, when she got back from the hospital – nagkaroon kasi ng incident that time na may humablot ng bag niya na mga riding-in-tandem, tapos na-injure yung shoulder niya kung kaya’t hindi ko agad nasabi sa kanya ang tungkol sa break-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang ikwento ko sa kanya lahat, nagulat din siya dahil para namang biglaan ang mga pangyayari.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">2006’s holiday season was probably the worst in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the year before, i was happy to be with someone who loved me and cared for me – i couldn’t believe that the opposite would happen the following year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during my last workday of 2006 which also happened to be the office Christmas party na ginanap sa bahay <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">nina Dr.</st1:address></st1:street> Mangahas and Ma’am Thetis Abrera-Mangahas, panay pa rin ang dial ko sa number ni Vhan, hoping that she would pick up at mag-usap kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ayun, as usual, para lang akong tanga na dial nang dial pero hindi naman siya sumagot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kinabukasan, naka-vacation leave na ako at sinubukan ko siyang tawagan sa office at baka sakali lang na makausap ko siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nakausap ko nga siya, pero there was a harshness in her voice nang tanungin niya kung bakit ako tumawag – hindi raw siya sumasagot kagabi kasi Christmas party din daw nila.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tinanong din niya kung ano pa daw ang sasabihin ko kasi naaksaya lang daw ang oras – napatigil kasi ako, nag-freeze dahil sa pagkagulat na ganun siya sumagot, parang inaabala ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siguro nga, naaabala ko siya nung mga sandaling iyon, pero gusto ko lang makapag-usap kami sa isang lugar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ultimately ay pumayag siya na magkita kami sa Gateway kung saan kami unang nagkita the year before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nauna akong dumating doon at naghintay sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagdating niya, kinamusta niya ako pero nahalata ko na peke ang ngiti niya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang naglalakad kami, mailap siya – palaging iniiba ang usapan, at ni ayaw madampian ng kamay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nadama ko noon na mukhang ayaw naman talaga niyang makipag-usap, at malamang nakipagkita lang siya para tigilan ko na siya pagkatapos noon – para lang siguro masabing hindi niya ako inisnab.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang nangyari, sinamahan ko na lang siyang maglakad papuntang bus terminal dahil uuwi siya sa Los Baños.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang nasa kalahati na kami ng daan, bigla niyang naalala na may i-re-redeem daw siyang free pizza sa <st1:city w:st="on">Greenwich</st1:city> para pasalubong sa Mommy niya, so sinamahan ko siya pabalik ng <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:placename w:st="on">Farmers</st1:placename> <st1:placetype w:st="on">Plaza</st1:placetype></st1:place> para i-redeem ang pizza niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang naghihintay ay nag-iisip ako sa aking sarili: “makakapag-usap pa ba kami nito kahit kalian?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagkatapos ay sinamahan ko ulit siya papuntang bus terminal at sinundan siya ng tingin pagsakay niya sa bus - na saktong papaalis na – hanggang sa pag-upo niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naglalakad ako sa bangketa along EDSA, sinusundan pa rin siya ng tingin, nang mapansin kong kinuha niya ang telepono niya at may tinawagan siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>malamang tumawag siya sa Mommy niya, naisip ko – pero ang ikinatatakot ko ay baka ibang lalaki na ang tinatawagan niya – alam kong wala akong karapatan kwestiyunin siya, pero the mere thought na baka may iba na siya suddenly saddened me nung mga sandaling iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>iyon na ang huli naming pagkikita.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>our love story that began in Cubao would also end in Cubao.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yup, maraming bittersweet memories ang sumasagi sa isip ko everytime napapadaan ako sa Cubao, at ewan ko kung may nakakapansin noon bukod sa akin -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i guess walang nakakapuna.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">pag-uwi ko noong gabing iyon, tinext ko siya para lang ipaalam na nasa bahay na ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi siya nag-reply <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">gaya</st1:city></st1:place> ng inasahan ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>since holiday season naman, may family reunion kami that year sa <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Pasig</st1:city></st1:place>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pumunta ako to see my relatives pati yung Auntie and Uncle ko whom we call Mama Tita and Papa Walter – wala kasi silang anak, and nakitira kami sa kanila dati – at ang trato nila sa amin parang anak na din.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi rin ako nakaligtas sa interrogation kung kaya’t i made the teary-eyed confession kina Mama and Papa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siyempre, pagkatapos nun ay puro words of encouragement ang natanggap ko – at nakagaan din ng pakiramdam ko ang pagluha ko that afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinabihan din nila ako na wag raw akong magmukmok at imbes ay makipag-date daw ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang gugulo talaga nitong mga matatandang ‘to, naisip ko sa sarili ko, pero may punto din naman sila.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it just so happened din na that night, i was going out with Mear and her sister Rizza and Rizza’s boyfriend to watch Up Dharma Down sa 70’s Bistro.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it wasn’t a date, night out lang – i had no romantic intentions whatsoever kasi Mear and i, para kaming Pork Chop Duo sa opisina – we’re naturally humorous and sarcastic towards each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and besides, may boyfriend siya at that time – not that it would have made a difference otherwise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>anyways, sinundo ko lang si Mear sa office then punta na kami sa 70’s Bistro to wait for Rizza and the rest of their friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>habang naghihintay, nagkwento lang ako nang nagkwento sa kanya and i’m thankful dahil sa pakikinig niya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at the end of the evening, naglakad kami papuntang <st1:street w:st="on"><st1:address w:st="on">Aurora Blvd.</st1:address></st1:street> kung saan hinintay ko siyang makasakay bago ako umuwi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>towards the end of December 2006, sinubukan kong mag-engage in small talk sa text, baka sakaling magbago ang ihip ng hangin at pumayag siyang magkita kami in the future or what-not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one time, sumagot siya at kinamusta pa ako, pero sabi niya na may kausap siya – some guy named Ronald daw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naisip ko, sino kaya yun?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may umeeksena, pumoporma sa kanya, ganun?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siyempre, na-insecure ako at this point. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nevertheless, i kept on trying to reach out to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sinulatan ko siya sa email nung December 22, and nag-reply siya nung December 26 – sabi niya na maraming factors daw kung bakit siya nakipag-break up sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nevertheless, pumayag si Vhan makipag-meet para makipag-usap, pero in January 2007 na lang daw kasi hindi pwede ng December.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>December 29, 2006, nag-text ako kay Vhan asking if natuloy sila sa pauwi sa Isabela – and surprisingly, nag-reply siya at sinabing hindi raw sila natuloy dahil walang sasakyan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nagtanong siya kung bakit ko naman daw naitanong, ang sabi ko naman to this effect: wala naman dear, just curious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nag-reply siya ng: dear ka diyan!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naisip ko: aba, mukhang iba ang reaksyon nito ah.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tapos walang ka-gatul-gatol siyang nag-reply na “dear” daw ang tawagan nila nitong si Ronald.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ay putaragis, naisip ko bigla: anong kababalaghan ‘to?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tandaan ninyo, nakipag-break siya November 26, tapos by this time, may dear na?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wala pa pong “One More Chance” at “3-Month rule” sa kamalayan ko nito kaya pasensya na kung nagulat ako sa bilis ng kanyang “pagpapalit ng papa”.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko na gaanong maalala, pero parang tinanong ko siya kung bakit niya ako dinelete sa Friendster, at hindi na siya nag-reply pagkatapos. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ako’y naguguluhan na talaga sa kanya kung kaya’t nangulit ako sa text hanggang sa sinabi ko na rin sa kanya na lagi na lang siyang umiiwas kapag tinatanong, at sinabi ko rin na nagmumukha na akong tanga (actually matagal na) dahil palagi na lang siyang deadma kapag ganun ang sitwasyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>aba, nakulitan yata masyado sa akin at sumagot ng ganito (not verbatim, pero more or less ito ang punto): baket, eh kung sabihin kong kami na nga ni Ronald?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>anong gagawin mo?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ha-huntingin mo ba siya, bubugbugin mo ba siya?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yep, more or less, ganyan ang isinagot niya sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko naman siya nabara ng mala-John Lloyd/Popoy delivery na: “ano ba naman, Vhan?!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bakit ba kating-kati kang palitan ako?!?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi mo ba alam ang three-month rule?!?” – ‘tang-ina naman, kung may one-month rule nga, sablay pa siya eh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>oo na, bitter na kung bitter, pero i’m just saying na ang pakikipag-relasyon. hindi naman yan parang pagpapalit lang ng damit di ba?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang isinagot ko sa kanya ay ganito (not verbatim, pero more or less ito ang punto): yan ba ang pagkaka-kilala mo sa akin?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa tingin mo ba, gagawin ko yang karahasan na yan?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kung sa tingin mo, magagawa ko yan, then <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country -region="-region" w:st="on">mali</st1:country></st1:place> ang pagkaka-kilala mo sa akin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>unfair na isipin mong gagawin ko yan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pag-reply niya sa akin, sabi niya, may “Compatibility Gap” daw kami – nabasa daw niya yun sa Cosmopolitan o sa kung saang magazine – the same sources kung saan niya nakuha ang mga “what are you like in bed?” eklat na kinuwento niya sa akin dati nung kami pa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naisip ko sa sarili ko: napaka-ridiculous na nitong usapang ito.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kahit napakabigat at labag talaga sa kalooban ko, sinubukan kong maging gracious by saying na ayaw kong makipag-away kay Vhan at gusto kong maging masaya siya – that i would rather have her as a friend than not have her in my life at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ayun, sumagot siya ng something to this effect: alam mo, siguro ganyan lang talaga ang love – it comes and goes… but friendship always stays… you’re the best guy friend i ever have, tandaan mo yan… – siguro at this point, gusto nyo na akong i-untog sa pader dahil sa mga putang-inang retarded na litanyang nabasa ninyo, pero pasensya na, yan talaga ang naging exchange namin, more or less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">December 30, 2006, Rizal Day, ikinuwento ko kay Mear over the phone ang naging exchange naming ni Vhan, kasama na ang lintek na “compatibility gap” na yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sabi niya sa akin na hindi man siya makapagbigay ng perfect advice, at least daw yung pakikinig niya would ease my burdens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may instances pa nga na nagagamit ko yung term na “compatibility gap” na pang-gago o rebuttal sa mga kalokohang naisisingit namin sa kwentuhan namin that night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>honestly, i could say na kung hindi dahil sa mga totoong kaibigan tulad ni Mear, siguro ay na-depress ako lalo sa sitwasyon ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>pagsapit ng 2007, bakasyon pa rin ako ng first week ng new year, binati ko si Vhan through text, wishing her well for the coming year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naramdaman ko naman ang sincerity sa reply niya, to be fair and honest about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nang mag-report na ako for work in 2007, nag-meet up kami ni Penny (our common friend na nag-introduce sa aming dalawa) for lunch at kwentuhan about the break-up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko napigilang hind imaging teary-eyed habang kinukwento ko yung mga pangyayari, as i was just emotional pa at that time – mababaw pa ang luha, kumbaga.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i was just battling to get closure, kahit hindi na magkabalikan – para lang we end it the right way, para <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> walang sama ng loob kahit papaano, maski mahirap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>shortly after that, if i remember correctly, konektado na ulit kami ni Vhan sa Friendster, so i was able to read some of the bulletins na pinost niya sa newsfeed ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yung mga tipong kumakalat na mga quizzes, etc. tungkol sa ideal partner/date at iba pa, binasa ko ang ilan sa mga pinost niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i felt quite sad kasi pakiramdam ko, pinatatamaan niya ako dun sa ibang posts niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>there was this post kung saan sinabi niyang she had always wanted to date engineers, but ended up with sociologists instead – i’m a sociologist by training, kung kaya’t nalungkot ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>then there’s this post where she wrote na makikipag-date na lang daw siya sa taga-UP Los Baños instead of taga-UP Diliman (yes, you guessed it, i’m from UP Diliman).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>marami pa akong nabasa na hindi ko na lang pinapansin, pero naaapektuhan pa rin ako – hindi ko tuloy alam kung napaka-balat sibuyas ko ba or whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i know i’m just her ex- at that point, isang hamak na ex-, pero nasasaktan ako kapag lalong dinidiin niya na what happened between us was a mistake – which is probably the case if we use her perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nag-e-NBI (or nag-o-online investigation) na pala ako sa puntong ito, although hindi ko alam na may term palang ganito (i heard/read the term “NBI” from Abet) palibhasa kasi ay nakikita ko na ang mga pictures niya at mga shout-outs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>isa sa mga napansin ko ay yung mga pictures niya nung office Christmas party nila na same day daw nung sa amin – lo and behold, ibang date pala yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ayaw ko mang mag-isip ng masama, pero napagtanto ko lang: why would she lie about that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko alam, to be honest, ang sagot diyan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ang sa akin lang, bakit pa kailangang magsinungaling?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>siguro nagigiging paranoid lang ako at this point – baka naman <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:country -region="-region" w:st="on">mali</st1:country></st1:place> lang ang date stamp sa digital camera – tumpak, baka nga ganun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa aking patuloy na pag-e-NBI, nalaman ko din na nag-post siya sa yahoogroups ng paborito niyang Brownman Revival ng message kung saan gusto raw niyang tumugtog ang BMR sa kasal niya – at napagkasunduan na daw nila ito ng boyfriend niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>baka tanungin ninyo: eh ano naman ngayon?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Alam kong hindi na nga kami, pero ang date ng post na nakita ko ay November 28, 2006 – two days matapos niyang makipag-break – ayaw kong maging kontrabida, pero naguguluhan lang ako sa mga makikita ko at that point.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kung wala kayong tiwala sa sinasabi ko, then basahin na lang ninyo <a href="http://launch.groups.yahoo.com/group/the_brownmanrevival/message/2210">ito</a> and tell me what you think – hay naku, bigla na namang nag-himagsik ang damdamin ko nang mabasa ko ito.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa sobrang apektado ko, nag-text na naman ako kay Vhan, tinanong ko kung kailan ba talaga niya officially tinapos ang relasyon namin, at kung kailan sila nagging mag-on nung Ronald na yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ito ang isinagot niya sa akin: issue pa pala yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi ko na matandaan ang exact date, basta nag-set na lang kami ng date for monthsary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>basta, hindi ko kayo pinagsabay. – ayan, yang “hindi ko kayo pinagsabay” na yan eh magiging quotable quote in the near future – kasi naisip ko bigla sa sarili ko nung mga sandaling iyon: “hindi mo nga kami pinagsabay, pinagsunod lang.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to the curious: yes, i really felt like a dummy at that moment – tanga, as in T-A-N-G-A.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">during the following days / months, nag-babad ako sa Yahoo Messenger, hoping may maka-kwentuhang mga kaibigan to share what i was burdened with – mahirap kasi talaga kapag solo flight mong dinadala ang mga hang-ups.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ayun, isa-isang nakahalata ang mga tropa at pinagkakamusta ako.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa bawat makwentuhan ko, feeling ko gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko kahit papaano.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sina Penny, Alex, Kiko, Abet, Archie, lahat sila alam ang mala-drama anthology kong mga kwento sa YM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naalala ko din yung session namin sa bahay nina Amy, Abet at Francis kung saan nagkwento ako sa kanila ng aking heartbreak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>alam kong cliché na ito, pero totoo ngang kapag may problema ka, andiyan lang yung mga tunay mong kaibigan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nagbanggit man ako ng mga pangalan, marami pa silang nakinig sa akin at dumamay in one way or another: sina Anne, Aileen, Ajel, Jude, Pepper at yung mga nakalimutan ko at this moment, pasensya na pero salamat pa rin nang marami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ganunpaman, may mangilan-ngilang okasyon na bigla na lang mag-a-IM sa YM si Vhan sa akin, pasutsot-sutsot at her convenience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi naman kasi ako nambabastos o nagtataboy, kung kaya’t sumasagot pa rin ako paminsan-minsan, pero hindi naman ako nakikipag-kwentuhan o nakiki-balita sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>plain courtesy lang, ‘ika nga – dahil may pinagsamahan din naman kami.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>bandang end ng January kasi, ibinalita niya sa akin na natanggap siya sa trabahong inapply-an niya – pangatlo daw ako sa sinabihan niya about the news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>natuwa naman ako para sa kanya, although nagtaka din ako kung bakit kailangan pa niyang ikwento yun sa akin, so keber lang.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>one time in February, nag-text siya sa akin – mga 8:00 PM na yata yun – sabi niya na naiinis na talaga siya sa bahay kasi daw humihingi ang Mommy niya ng panggastos for home expenses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>parang ang point niya was medyo nahihirapan siya dahil madalas daw ay ganun ang situation, at hindi niya napagtutuunan ang needs niya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sa YM kinabukasan, kinamusta niya ako at kinuwentuhan niya ako na nag-aasikaso siya ng job requirements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>na-ungkat ulit ang issue na pine-pressure daw siya ng Mommy niya for panggastos, sinabi ko na ganun talaga, kailangang tulungan ang mga magulang dahil naghirap din naman sila para sa atin, tiis-tiis lang nang konti.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>again, idinaan ko sa diplomasya ang simpleng payo ko sa kanya, although baka isipin ng iba na hindi naman ako kailangang mag-advise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sumagot ako dahil may magulang din ako, at naiintindihan ko ang ganung sitwasyon, kung kaya’t hangga’t magagawan ng paraan, magsasakripisyo ako – and i would advise anyone to do the same, if they can.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>anyway, she replied with “til when, di ba?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at this point, hindi na lang ako nakipag-argue sa kanya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>at around this time, if i remember it correctly, dinelete ko na rin siya sa Friendster kasi nga ayaw ko nang nakakabasa ng mga updates – and i think nakabuti rin sa akin iyon in the long run.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nag-message pa siya sa YM a couple of times – one time, <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>gusto pa niyang ikwento yung kasalukuyang “kina-karir” niyang guy, i just said: “good luck sa iyo. <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">sana</st1:city></st1:place> makuha mo siya.” – kinuwento ko pa yun kay Penny kasi parang nairita lang ako – parang “too much information” lang kasi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kailangan ko pa bang malaman yun?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>oo na, gets ko na na siya ang nag-dump sa akin, at kaya ako nasasaktan ay dahil mahal ko pa rin siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>eto nga at sinusubukan ko nang mag-move forward, tapos may pa-buzz-buzz pa siya occasionally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi nagtagal eh binura ko na rin siya sa YM contacts ko – not for spite, pero i felt na kailangan ko lang unti-unting alisin siya sa sistema ko – and this was a significant step in achieving that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">ginawa kong means of coping ang pag-concentrate sa work, thinking that it’s better to get knocked out sa pagtatrabaho than be idle and just think about her and what could have been, or rather, what could never be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>minsan, kapag ako na lang ang natitirang tao sa office, i would read some of the poems i wrote, just to see if an idea or image or vision would present itself to me – minsan ay tinitingnan ko kung may mahuhugot ba akong kahit na ano sa gitna ng frustrations ko.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>may isa akong <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">tula</st1:city></st1:place> na inumpisahan kong isulat noong 2005, pero hindi ko siya matapos-tapos – the idea for the opening and closing lines were almost instant nang mag-umpisa ako, but it was the middle part kung saan ako nahihirapan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i intended it to be about a girl friend (two words, ha?) whom i had a liking for back in 2002-2003 – i knew that we wouldn’t be together, even if i eventually said na gusto ko siya.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i kept it in draft form for almost two years, but when i read it again in 2007, i knew i had to dismantle and rewrite it – and armed with the necessary emotional baggage, i was able to churn it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>i settled for <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">the outsider</i> as its title, and it went like this: </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">from afar,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">you seem</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">seamless.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i watch,</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i wait.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i’m weak,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">beat down</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">by fate.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">you fly</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">so high</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">while i,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">build walls</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">and die.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">what did i just say?</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">…it doesn’t matter what i just said!</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">every silence,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">every ignorance</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">only denies</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">this mess.</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">because</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">from afar,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Courier New';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">i seem less.</span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">call me what you will, pero i really felt like an outsider back then.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>most people probably would just shrug it off, but i took it hard – i felt that i was in loserville again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yes, there were even times when i thought that the ex- was laughing while flashing a big L on her forehead at me – well, minsan naiiisip ko yun.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kapag nakakakita ako ng mga magka-holding hands o kumakain na mag-jowa, i just look away – kasi naiinggit lang ako at iniisip kung saan ba ako nagkamali.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>during rough days, before i go to sleep, i even thought that Vhan was my last chance at a meaningful relationship, and yet i blew it for some reason which i couldn’t figure out myself. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>dumaan ako sa panahon when i blamed myself solely, even if sabi ng mga kaibigan na sa relasyon, it really takes two to tango kaya hindi dapat sisihin ang sarili nang 100%.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>eventually, i took it easily on myself dahil na-realize kong may punto nga naman sila.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">then came March – holy week was just around the corner (April to be exact), when a good friend of mine (itago na lang natin sa pangalang Abet) sent me an email inviting me to join a tour of Ilocos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>naisip ko, why not?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang-isip at nagpa-reserve – tutal, i was in need of a break and a breath of fresh air, so to speak. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>sumama ako sa Ilocos trip na yun para makapag-travel naman ako kahit papaano – madalas ko kasing ka-inggitan ang mga pictures ng mga adventures ni Abet, kung kaya’t sinamantala ko na ang pagkakataon nung semana santang iyon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>new places, new faces – parang yun ang naging tema tuloy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>wala naman akong expectations, except perhaps just to meet other people and make a few friends in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi naman ako na-disappoint because i met some wonderful people during that trip – siyempre sina King Louie and his family, Doni, Ronnel and Jhen, just to name a few.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Radical Adventure Concepts & Events or R.A.C.E. had made its mark (not Mark Lapid ha?) on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>nung biyahe pabalik ng <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:city w:st="on">Manila</st1:city></st1:place>, naisip ko: ang sarap palang mag-travel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>from then on, i tried to save money in order to be able to travel dito sa Pilipinas – kasi parang hindi matapatan ng anumang halaga yung sayang nararamdaman ko kapag naglalakbay – and i felt great pagbalik ko galing Ilocos.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of course, i had to keep in touch with the new friends, that’s why i created my niche here in Multiply.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>and the rest, they say, was history.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;"><span style="color: #000099;">i would continue to explore the wonders of the Philippines, either with R.A.C.E. or with friends i met in R.A.C.E. for the next few years – Anawangin, Bohol, Cebu, Coron, Banaue, Sagada, Batad, Laguna, Quezon, Negros Occidental, Caramoan / Camarines Sur, HABFest, Isdaan / Tacsiyapo Wall, San Juan / La Union / Mamita’s, Casa Ligaya / UPLB, Banio Kreek, Mt. Pinatubo / Capas Shrine, Bolinao / Pangasinan, and Hacienda Manalo / Laguna.</span><span style="color: #000099;"> </span><span style="color: #000099;">i know that i could never reformat my mind and my heart, so that’s why i tried to make new memories with friends i met during my time of grief, while also keeping in touch with old friends who never turned their back on me whenever i needed someone to listen.</span><span style="color: #000099;"> </span><span style="color: #000099;">Vhan would make sporadic </span><i style="color: #000099;">paramdams</i><span style="color: #000099;"> at times, incidents that i wrote about in posts filled with anger and sadness like </span><a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2007/06/gulat_4673.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">this</span></a>, <a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2007/11/alaala_6895.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">this</span></a><span style="color: #000099;">, and </span><a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2007/11/anniversary_8929.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">this</span></a><span style="color: #000099;">, but i knew that i had to close some chapters in order to be able to help God edit the script for the rest of my life – there was no turning back for me.</span><span style="color: #000099;"> </span><span style="color: #000099;">it took me a couple of years, but eventually i got over my one great love (as of 2007)… i just woke up one day and realized that i have moved on – in fact, i even wrote about it </span></span><span style="color: #0b5394; font-family: arial, helvetica;"><a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2009/05/finally_4299.html" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;" target="_blank">here</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in-add pa nga ako ni Vhan sa Facebook one time – so ang ginawa ko, in-accept ko then i un-friended her the next day – because even though i forgave her, i never forgot what she did to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>indeed, some bridges are better left burnt – kaya sorry kung hindi ako maka-relate sa konsepto ng <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">exes being friends</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hindi lang siguro angkop para sa mga naging karanasan ko, kaya ganun.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">kaya heto, namayagpag ang mga kwento ng mga paglalakbay ko dito sa Multiply, maraming akong nakilalang mga kaibigan, hanggang sa unti-unting kumupas ang Friendster at sumikat naman ang Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>ganunpaman, sa mga madamdaming posts at iba pang mabibigat na paglalahad, ako’y palaging babalik dito sa Multiply upang magsulat.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">maraming salamat for getting to this point, i appreciate your caring to read about me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>this is my story, my previous fate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you know me more because of this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>you could probably say fate led to the break-up, the break-up led me to travel, travelling led me here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that is why we are friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that is why you are reading this.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">p.s. i’m sorry it took me 2 years, 8 months, and 2 weeks to finish writing this. i promised </span><a href="http://lambanogpusher.blogspot.com/2008/09/lost-in-makati-aka-post-eraserheads-get_7854.html" style="font-family: arial, helvetica;" target="_blank"><span style="color: #0b5394;">them</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; color: #000099; font-family: arial, helvetica; font-size: small;">that i will finish what i started. here it is.</span></div>
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lambanogshootehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00152253050866460498noreply@blogger.com10