dekada

today, i received a memorandum regarding a loyalty award given to me for ten years of service to the institution that is Social Weather Stations. 

to quote part of the memo: "Christian Michael Entoma is entitled to loyalty award for ten years of dedicated service to SWS.  Mike was hired as Research Aide on September 1, 2000.  He was given regular appointment on March 1, 2001 and currently holding the post of Survey Specialist and Sampling Assistant."

to tell you the truth, i never expected to last this long with the mother station (a term i borrow from colleague/mentor Leo Laroza) as i started out as a project-based administrative assistant with them.  towards the end of my contract back then, an opportunity presented itself: one of the technical staff resigned and there was a vacancy for the position of research aide.  i remember Leo, Vlad, and Ate Nena interviewing me to see if i was interested in the job opening.  i still remember how fucking nervous i was back then, but i accepted.  and the rest, they say, was history.

at times, we hear questions such as: "where do you see yourself ten years from now?" - honestly, i don't really know how to answer those types of questions.  i always took it one day at a time, and there were some days wherein i realized that this is probably my calling - to work in a non-government research institution.  there were also some people who appreciated what i did, however small those tasks were - salamat Kuya Penn (sumalangit ka nawa, kaibigan ko).  there are also some people whom i feel, in spite of my best efforts, still have some bullshit things to say - kesyo sweldo lang daw ang tingin ko sa trabaho, hindi ko raw naa-appreciate ang mga binibigay ng office, etc.  ito lang ang sagot ko sa bullshit na yan: 1) kung pera lang ang habol ko, hindi ako dito magtatrabaho; and 2) i give you MORE WORK HOURS THAN WHAT YOU ACTUALLY PAY FOR - kahit may mga bonus pa, kapag pukpukan, i give that extra effort at hindi ako nagcho-choke.  ayaw na ayaw kong magbuhat ng sariling bangko, pero mayroon kasing ibang tao na yun ang trademark nila - at sa harap pa minsan ng buong staff ipinangangalandakan ang kanilang achievements.  ginawa ko na lang fuel yan, at sa tingin ko nakabuti rin naman sa akin because it toughened me up and made me stronger.  sabi nga dun sa isang conference on quality of life, there is always something good in seemingly negative situations - and it has been a very important realization for me.

this career has also been witness to a lot of my personal happiness as well as my agonies - my best and my worst.  there were times when i had to come through kahit na may dinaramdam akong personal burdens.  there are even times when i ask myself: worth it ba lahat ito?  in spite of them, i still try do my job every day, giving my best every time.  i may not be the most intelligent, but i could humbly say that i am a hardworking person, and i believe that's one of the reasons why i lasted this long.  of course, i believe that what we do here is a public service, as the data we gather from our studies can help government policy-makers serve the Filipino people better.  thus, i could humbly say that i do my little part in nation-building through my profession - as all of us do, in our own unique ways.  for all these years, i thank my co-workers for lessons they taught me, and i thank management for giving me tough love, as well as the opportunity to shine.  i may be a prick at times, but i'm just being true to myself - and i'm sorry if that hurts some people sometimes.

so where do i see myself in the next few years?  i don't really know, because as i have told you earlier, i take it one day at a time.  this is not to say that i am the "carpe diem!" type of person - no, i'm not.  not every day is mine to seize, but be that as it may, i believe that when the moment is there, i'll take that big shot.  hit or miss, i'll keep trying - and that i will guaran-damn-tee.

p.s. the memo came with a nice check worth Php10,000 - not a hefty sum to most, but i consider it a blessing.  after all, it was never about the money anyway.