another re-post

i took this from my seldom-visited/updated myspace account and re-posted it here (obviously). this is another jab at the several futilities i (or we) experience in life. ganun daw talaga, sabi nila. ang daming daplis, ang daming halos, ang daming muntik. pero naniniwala pa rin ako na makaka-jackpot din ako, hinihintay ko lang yung araw na yun. at kapag dumating ang araw na yun, i could finally say: FINALLY!!! THE ROCK HAS COME BACK, ay mali, hindi pala ganun. ibig ko lang namang sabihin, lahat naman ng tao, may araw din. at naniniwala akong parating din ang araw ko. hindi lahat ng araw masama, hindi lahat ng laro talo. balang araw makaka-tikim din ng dumadagundong na "People's Elbow" mula sa akin 'yang punyetang kamalasan na 'yan. and i can "guaran-damn-tee" that. as for kailan, 'yan ang hindi ko masasabi. ang masasabi ko lang sa sarili ko: mangyayari din yun.

at sabi din ng isang kaibigan: "in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life: it goes on."

likewise, alam mo kung sino ka. maraming salamat.

here's to waiting what would be in the future.

bago pa man tayo mapunta sa mga usapan tungkol sa mga kabayong prinsipe at mga waiter na may kutsara sa bulsa, eto na ang re-post ko:

 

Sunday, April 18, 2004

poem analyzed for me this is heaven (apologies to jimmy eat world) you, a professional patient i, an amateur shrink a sleepy reply (to) a late night clichéd text message for me this is heaven for me this is futile for me this is all. cmce 7/29/03 a little backgrounder on this one: the title was taken from jimmy eat world's song of the same title from the clarity album. it had a first line that went like this: "the first star i see may not be a star." it kind of set the mood for the whole song (i think). but the poem wasn't really a rip-off of the song, the title just inspired me to write the piece. i got it done in about ten to fifteen minutes just before i left the office on that aforementioned date. i was feeling a little burned out from working that i took the time to write. also, i didn't receive any email that day that's why i sent the poem as a message to my best friend alex with "an email-less day" as subject heading. i let him read some of my pieces for comments and whatever improvements that could be done. it turned out that he liked the piece. it was basically about being content in a situation that you know is futile to pursue in the first place, but still you somehow attempt to pursue (or sometimes wish that it would happen even if the chances are slim). and i was thinking of that situation with someone whom i knew would not consider it, because aside from it being a filipino movie cliché, it just wasn't likely to happen. i was trying to say something but i would rather have her read it by chance or by accident, like a wayward letter or something like that, instead of sending it directly to her. in actuality, i was trying to reach out but i wasn't expecting any response, favorable or otherwise. i just wanted to say/write it, and that's about it. maybe it's because i'm used to being unnoticed (or ignored, depending on how you look at it). besides, i didn't want any hype. i hated it. come to think of it, the piece is also about being unnoticed, or occasionally being noticed, without any special response from her. that's putting things into perspective. great expectations just disappoint me, that's why i don't expect big things from improbable situations. that's my tragedy. my reality. and i manage to make poetry out of it. my hang-ups become art. brutal but true.